how to manage having a second child?
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|Wed, 01-06-2010 - 12:38am|
My LO is now 19 months old. She was a very high needs baby, and although she is much better now (calm, obedient, and loves to help), she still (1) doesn't play by herself for very long and (2) nurses to sleep, wakes a lot at night, needs me to sleep with her in order to decrease the wakings, nurses back to sleep when she wakes, and is an extremely light sleeper (she wakes when I just change position in bed (despite everything I've tried to mask the sound and movement) and needs to nurse back to sleep). I just can't imagine cosleeping with her and a new baby since I'll have to move around with a new baby.
I am so nervous and scared to have a second child b/c my first was so high needs. I don't know how I'm going to manage their sleep schedules, wakings, and needs. With my first LO, I could nap when she napped. I was pretty much a single parent b/c my spouse works insane, stressful hours around the clock and needs sleep b/c the work is life-and-death. Kinda hard to compete with that...
We can afford hired help, but (1) I don't know what tasks and what hours to delegate and (2) if I delegate too much, I lose my connection with my LO (which I value in and of itself, but also means I start having behavioral problems and I lose my ability to predict or understand the reasons for her behavior). Plus, hired help doesn't parent exactly the way you would want. I would love to have grandparents and aunt/uncle to help out, but they are not available due to distance and their type of work.
Any advice? Thanks.