I hate to complain, but I need help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2009
I hate to complain, but I need help!
17
Fri, 12-04-2009 - 7:00pm

My 4 month old is attached to me like a tick.


She sleeps all night... I am very lucky, but during the day, I can't put her down. I assume it's a combo of being a SAHM & nursing but if she's not being held, she's fussing.


She doesn't nap at all during the day.


If I want to cook, clean or shower, I have to listen to her cry while I do it.


She won't take a pacifier... I've tried 7 different ones.


DH works 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off. When he's home, he helps w/ her so that I can cook & stuff but when he's not here I just have to let her cry or go without.


Is there any way to break her of this attachment? At least a little bit? I've tried 2 different swings, baby Einstein videos & an exersaucer.... I got nothing!


Help!

Photobucket Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
Photobucket

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 12-05-2009 - 1:57pm

Can you wear her around in a sling or carrier of some sort? It might help with both the "how do I get stuff done" problem and with the lack of nap problem. When I had difficulty like that, I would put my daughter in the sling to do various household activities like cleaning, dishes, playing with other kids, etc., which helped with daily activities, and then she'd fall asleep in there. When she fell asleep I would very very gently, very very quietly, ease her off of my body and lay her down in the crib, still wrapped in the sling. Then sometimes she'd stay asleep, because she was still lying in the warm, me-smelly fabric and didn't perceive that she had been moved. That is very hard--good luck!

Annie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2007
Sat, 12-05-2009 - 4:41pm

1) Get a sling or wrap asap. You may even want to get a second mesh one to wear in the shower.

2) On occasion try enlisting the help of your son to put on a show for her if you think he'll do a good job distracting her.

3) Prep the night before as much as possible after she's asleep. I precut and measure as much as possible.


Lilypie 2nd Birthday Ticker

Lilypie Breastfeeding Ticker

Lilypie 2nd Birthday Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2009
Sat, 12-05-2009 - 4:42pm

We did use a sling while preparing things for Thanksgiving. It worked quite well but was very uncomfortable. I know I wouldn't be able to do dishes with it because I'm a sink snuggler, ha ha! I am usually SOAKED after doing dishes cause I stand so close to the sink.


I will definitely try it for sweeping the floor but I get very nervous bending over with it on & to use the dust pan I have to bend.... plus we have wood floors so there's a lot of bending, kwim?


I personally don't like the sling at all. It's uncomfortable.... but I agree that it does help.


DH just can't figure out why she's so attached & I honestly don't know what to say. DS wasn't like that at all - but he wasn't nursed & he went to daycare until he was almost 2 years old. It's just really toiugh....


Thank you for your response.

Photobucket Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2007
Sun, 12-06-2009 - 12:24am

What sling do you have? The right one makes a difference. Maybe a wrap or mei tai would be good and then you could also wear her on your back. I lug my 25 lb toddler everywhere and almost never am uncomfortable.

We'll figure this out!


Lilypie 2nd Birthday Ticker

Lilypie Breastfeeding Ticker

Lilypie 2nd Birthday Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2006
Sun, 12-06-2009 - 12:41am

Its not because she's breastfed or because you're a SAHM; its just who she is and that's okay.


I agree with the pps, wearing her is the answer. Check this website to see if there is a babywearing group in your area. http://babywearinginternational.org/pages/celebratingaroundtheworld.php


joypark.jpg picture by funkymamajoy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2009
Sun, 12-06-2009 - 10:06am

Thank you so much for the links.


I have two baby bjorn's. One fits my front side like a backpack & the other wraps around my neck & slings across the front.


The backpack one is uncomfortable around the waist IMO. The front sling is way too small for her & hurts my shoulder. It was too small a few weeks after she was born.


I just need to find a group in my area that can help me w/ one. I found some really great ones @ Macy's but didn't realize I might need one, kwim?


Thank you all so much!

Photobucket Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2008
Sun, 12-06-2009 - 2:45pm

hey, it sounds like you have a pretty normal 4 month old,lol. mine was the same at 4 months and he never took a paci. i use the Moby Wrap and i love it. i still use it and he is almost 10 months old.

i couldnt get my lil guy on a nap schedule until like 3 months. i just started putting him for his first nap 2 hours after he woke up in the morning. example, if he woke up at 7, i'd put him to sleep at 9. what i did, and still do, is a two step bounce dance while breastfeeding. i latch him on sitting down and the i stand up and step to the right with a slight bounce and then to the left with a slight bounce. it's the only way (other than the car) to get him to sleep. try it! you will feel silly at first but if it works you will enjoy your break;-)

just hang in there. my lil guy was stuck to me until 6 months and now he doesnt like being held. he wants to be crawling and playing all the time and i miss my cuddles!

AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket


Photobucket

Photobucket
Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2009
Sun, 12-06-2009 - 2:56pm

That makes me feel so much better.


I wouldn't mind putting her in a sling more often but I worry she'll become even more attached if I do.


I'd rather her be more independant, kwim?


My son was just so different.

Photobucket Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2007
Sun, 12-06-2009 - 9:39pm

She has time to become independent later on. FWIW, I slung and held Isabella and co-slept and nursed on cue and didn't do sleep training and everything the 'experts' say not to do and she's the most independent girl I know. That is just her personality, not because of what I did or didn't do. :)

Seriously--this girl (almost 15 months old) prefers to read than be read to and several times now hasn't nursed to sleep, but just talked herself down. And she sleeps 6-10 hours at a stretch now. Who knew?

With attachment parenting, we follow our baby's cues because, when they're under a year, their wants are there needs (I know you know that; just throwing that out for the lurkers). So if she's telling you that she needs to be held, it's all right to hold her. You won't be spoiling her, but meeting her needs.

Have you read through the checklist for high-needs kids?

Here's a link by Dr. Sears that discusses the High-needs child and sleep.http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T050900.asp

Here's a link to help you self-diagnose if you have a High-needs child. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T050400.asp

While it doesn't make life pleasant for now, if your dd is high needs, meeting those needs now really pays off in the end. The AP friends with adult kids I know who were high needs kids whose needs were met, had easy-peasy teen years, because their relationship with their parents was so great. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Oh yes, and your son was different. But well, he's a different person. :)

Loral


Loral


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2007
Sun, 12-06-2009 - 9:49pm

The problem with the bjorns is that they don't distribute weight well and they aren't really great for baby's spine. I would ebay those and use the cash towards a good carrier and get it online.

Here is a link about choosing one: http://www.thebabywearer.com/index.php?page=choosinglinks

I think you should get a moby or some kind of mei tai.

The cool thing about meeting her needs now is that it will pay off later. She is going to be so secure and confident because you will have invested so much love and care in her.

I hope we can find you the right one. I adore babywearing; I'm gonna be so sad when mine outgrows it.


Lilypie 2nd Birthday Ticker

Lilypie Breastfeeding Ticker

Lilypie 2nd Birthday Ticker

Pages