I'm making a mess of this!
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|Thu, 10-22-2009 - 4:11am|
I've posted questions here before about disciplining my toddler, while I was pregnant, but I'm still struggling and starting to feel like I'm really being an awful mom.
He is 22 months old, the baby is now nearly 4 weeks old. He's trying to assert his independence, but also rebelling against this "invader" in his family. And I keep reacting to his behavior and then regretting it.
For example, this morning, he picked up my glasses to play with. I told him to put them down please. He said "No!" defiantly and turned his back on me. If it was something else I would have let this battle go and let him have it, but they were my glasses, so I said more firmly, "Nikhil, put the glasses down please!". At which point he broke off one of the arms. So I put him in the naughty corner, and he obediently went and stood there, unconcerned. After about a minute, I went to fetch the baby from the next room, and called him out of the naughty corner to join me. So he came into the room and stood in the corner and said "Naughty corner". He often puts himself in the naughty corner when he doesn't deserve it, which bothers me.
And then, I was changing the baby's diaper (immediately after the above scene) and she was squirting newborn poop all over me, the carpet, the camp cot and her clothes. Nikhil was running up and bumping the changing table. So I said "PLEASE will you go downstairs?". And he gave me the most forlorn, unloved, dejected look and hurried downstairs. Which had me in tears (after I had cleaned up the mess and could reflect on it).
I'm not sure if I'm being over-indulgent because I feel so sorry for him, having a new sister and not knowing what to do. Or if I'm being an absolute dragon and need to be more gentle with him. All I know is that he is insecure and unhappy, and I don't know what to do, because the baby also deserves attention.
It's not always possible to hold him tight to stop the tantrum, like when I'm covered in poop or he's running away with my glasses... Please help!