so glad i ap

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2008
so glad i ap
4
Wed, 11-11-2009 - 7:11am

so a friend of mine came over a few months ago and when she noticed i was wearing Vasilis she comented that her couzing who has a baby 3 months younger than mine, has "trained" her to stay in her bouncy. basically, she would only hold the baby when she was fed (by bottle) or being changed. she wasnt trying to tell me that my way was bad, she was just noting the different parenting styles.

well fast foward 3 months later...

the same friend came over and saw how i put down Vasilis to play with his toys while i made her tea. (i get nervous wearing him when making coffee or tea). she told me that her couzin's baby for the past month has refused to be put down. when someone trieds to put her down she screams bloody murder and turns all red.

i told her that i think because i alway hold Vasilis, now when i leave him for a couple minutes he is confident im coming back so he doesnt put up a fuss.

i told her her couzin should invest in a sling or wrap.

im glad that that baby is finally getting the attention she deserves but it must be quite a shock for a mom who was used to being so distant from her baby.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2006
Thu, 11-12-2009 - 12:19pm
Those stories make me so sad. But, as you said, at least he's getting held now. But it's out of "necessity", not "wanting" to hold their baby. :/

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2008
Fri, 11-13-2009 - 3:54pm

That's so awful! The poor baby probably thinks she's being abandoned every time she's put down. That makes me so sad. I wonder why people even have children if they don't want to actually hold them and be with them.


You've done a great job. Vasilis is ok with you putting him down because he knows you'll be back and cuddling him soon.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sun, 11-15-2009 - 1:56pm

That is wonderful that your son is so happy! And it is also sad that this other mom feels like it is so important to train her baby to be alone--makes me feel bad. However, I do want to point out that many babies go through that stage of crying and howling when they are put down, regardless of how they are parented. So it may be that it has to do with parenting, but it may not. Some little ones get really used to being carried all the time (which is good, of course) but while some of those kids are super-secure and do not cry when they are put down, some are so upset when put down that they are just terribly unhappy. Just putting it out there...

Annie

Community Leader
Registered: 04-18-2003
Wed, 11-25-2009 - 4:53pm

At least it's not going from holding lots to not holding lots because MIL has gifted you "Babywise".

Gail