When Time-Outs Don't Work??

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2012
When Time-Outs Don't Work??
Sun, 02-05-2012 - 7:53pm

I just finished reading Transforming the Difficult Child and can’t believe how much it hit home. My husband and I are currently starting to implement the techniques with our nine-year-old daughter, but have a few questions.


Avatar for janx7
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2001
Mon, 02-06-2012 - 8:21am

Good morning and welcome to the board. Thank you for your patience in waiting for a response -- I so appreciate it.

I sense that you're just beginning to use the Approach, is that correct? If so, make sure that the first step, the RECOGNITIONS are fully implemented BEFORE you begin the consequence phase -- don't be in a hurry to get there. The "what if's" will answer themselves if you stay in your heart -- the more you become the Approach --

RE #2 Safety is always a priority -- and removing her or her sibling from the situation in as neutral a way possible. Frame your statement -"I need you to reset now." Remove the other child or the dog from the situation if possible with as little energy, connection, and relationship as you can.

Have you considered having a family meeting and discussing your new parenting tools with your kids? Talking about resets and what that's all about and how they work and why they're different from what you've done in the past? Sometimes this eliminates the 'confusion' the kids feel when you change your tools all of a sudden and while kids like the new toolbox, they also become more engaged in their own greatness as well.

Please feel free to join us in our free 5 week online chat series that is beginning on Thursday evening. Final Details will be posted tomorrow in a thread below -- some details have already been posted so be sure to check the toolbox folder below for those if you're interested.

Have a greatness filled day!