The New Toy
Find a Conversation
|Mon, 03-07-2011 - 7:57am|
Just as children seek an energized response while investigating that new toy, they seek out that river of energy beneath our words. There's the content of communications, but beneath that is the far more powerful connection -- the degree or magnitude of perceived relationship that is created during that communication. And that connection -- the relationship -- is primary for children.
Think about your computer connection. Do you want to go back to dial-up? Of course not -- dial-up is sluggish and boring compared to newer forms of high-speed connectivity. Once children know intuitively where connection is faster and more abundant, they go unhesitatingly toward it, regardless of the content of our words. Major shifts in the way we interact with them are required to demonstrate that doing the right things can bring the same lightning fast connectivity they now associate with acting out. Let's go for the broadband of greatness!
If I held up a $5 and a $50 bill, which would you pick? How long would it take you figure out which one carries a greater "charge?' You would know immediately which has great value -- which will get you more. And children learn early on that, while they might get a few watered-down words of praise when they follow the rules, the fastest and most reliable way to get to those flashing lights, interesting sounds and dynamic movements -- the lightning rods of life-force -- from the adult in the room is by acting out and breaking rules.... (pg 32)