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|Tue, 02-22-2011 - 9:10am|
Raise Praise to Encouragement - another excerpt:
Dan Peterson, a counselor in Naperville, IL, and a Nurtured Heart Advanced Trainer, makes a great distinction between praise and encouragement. This distinction suggests that what we're doing in the Nurtured Heart Approach is more aptly described as the latter than the former:
Praise is given as an external reward for meeting someone else's expectations. It is more about your feelings as the adult whose child has just done something to please you. The focus is more on the result or outcome than on the effort it took to get there. The motivation for the child is limited to times during which you are present. When you leave, the child's motivation to continue to engage in the positive behavior leaves, too.
Encouragement, on the other hand, focuses on effort, commitment and dedication to the task rather than to the end result. It assures the child of his value and competence, which leads to a clearer self-awareness and stronger, more positive self-concept. Encouragement inspires a child's desire to use his abilities for the common good, no matter who's watching.
An example of praise would be: "Way to go! You are such a nice kid. Thanks for cleaning up!" An example of encouragement: "I see that you remembered to put your dishes away without being told. You showed your ability to remember the things you've been practicing. You are also showing your independence by doing things without being asked." In the former, the focus is on the result and your feelings about it; the latter statement is all about the child's effort and character -- his ability to use