We have been using a point system with our 10 year old
Hi and welcome to the board!
Indeed we have something to celebrate! First, an update:
We chose to leave the points in the trash in hopes they would not be tossed again. He had not collected his earned points at the point he through them in the trash, so the next evening he was able to collect two days of earned points. He completed a community service and was able to begin spending points again that evening. He handled it all quite well.
Now on to this week. On Tuesday he had a major blow-up after refusing to follow-through with a reset. He ended up in the back yard throwing bricks. We implemented a spending freeze and told him there would be another community service. He attempted to do his community service (painting a fence) both Tuesday evening and Wednesday evening, but both attempts ended in blow-ups with name calling, bad language and pounding and throwing items. We told him that the spending freeze would end once the community service was completed cheerfully and respectfully. Of course, during the three day freeze, point reviews continued and he earned plenty of points and was captured in many video moments. Finally this afternoon, he came home from school and said he wanted to paint the fence. He did it cheerfully and carefully with great attention to detail. We congratulated him, lifted the spending freeze and had a great evening with him. He said, "I think this is the best day I have ever had." I asked him if it felt good and he said yes. He clearly felt very successful.
Thanks for checking in and for the support. I am sure I will be back soon for more advice.