Working with a child with language delay

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2010
Working with a child with language delay
19
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 2:48am
My wife and I are reading "Transforming the Difficult Child" and trying to apply it to our two-year-old son who has delayed development, especially in the area of language. We are not sure how much he comprehends what we say at this point. We are trying to communicate positive messages and I think he is picking up on some of it, but we just don't know what to do when he starts one of his more manic episodes of throwing, hitting, biting or breaking things around him. We are just at the first stage of praising him, but it seems like the technique depends quite a bit on language describing exactly what he is doing when things are going well. Should we try to adapt the technique into a less verbal way and how?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 9:08am

Hi and welcome to the board.

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2010
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 12:20pm
There are many, many things I love about my son. Here are just three:
His amazing smile and great sense of humor.
His never-ending curiosity and desire to learn.
His ability to show a wide range of emotions.
Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 9:47am

Thank you!

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 05-26-2010 - 8:25am
How are things going?

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2010
Wed, 05-26-2010 - 11:50am

I think so. It is hard to tell. We are still trying not to react to behavior we don't like (a lot of hitting and head butting, etc.). I have to admit that I do react to being hit by a broom handle!

One success seems to be about getting him in and out of the car seat. It has been much easier lately, but I'm not sure if that is from our work or just something that eventually came to him.

My wife and I are making slow progress in reading the Transforming the Difficult Child book and would like to know what to do when he is going on a rampage and breaking things or hitting us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 05-27-2010 - 9:14am

Congrats on the success with the car seat!

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2010
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 12:58pm

Please tell me more about the Greatness chat and how to tune in for that.

I have to say we are not as "on-task" with our observations with my son. It's easy to let things ride or slip backwards. I have to keep reminding myself to remain calm when he does things like dump water out of the tub. Last night I did fine, but I could feel myself just getting to the point where I didn't want to deal with him any more. I had had enough of all the hitting, pulling, throwing things, making messes, trying to hit the puppy, yanking my glasses off, crying, fussing, etc. And yesterday was a bit of a long day, but not a bad day at all.

I'm also dealing with the fear that my son is Autistic. The language delays and other delays seem to point to that and it makes me fearful and sad that he might never develop normally and fully. I know it's projection, but it's just hard not to go there when I see how he behaves and struggles so much of the time. He can be happy as well, and I think he is happy around half of the time. The whining and crying and head-banging, pinching, etc. just reminds me that something is going on inside him and I wish I knew how to "fix" it, but I can't.

Gotta go. The only way I could write this is to put on a Scholastic video for him, but I don't like using the "electronic babysitter" too much. It seems to be an addiction for him and is basically the only thing that I can count on to keep him content for 30 minutes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 1:46pm

Congrats on honoring that yesterday, though long, was an overall good day!

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2010
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 2:55pm

Thanks for the encouragement. It definitely helps keep me going to hear that I'm moving in the right direction at least.

As for the dx of Autism, we have been taking him to a Speech Therapist for the past year or so. So far, she says our son is an "enigma" to her, but she did refer us to a bunch of specialists. We also consulted with our pediatrician and she gave us referrals. We are in Tucson, and there must be a shortage of specialists in this area here, since we can't see the developmental pediatrician until January of 2011! We have called the sensory processing specialists half a dozen times and so far have received no response. We did go to the ENT and he didn't find any problems with tonsils or adenoids, so we ruled that out.

I suppose I need to know more about possible treatments and outcomes. I think I get into mode where I think there is no hope for change or progress. Fear gets the best of me, I suppose. I know that my son IS making progress with language and other areas, so it seems logical that he can continue to do so - and it would be nice to have expert help and direction so we can all help him right now.

We have been to two school districts here and are scheduled for full evaluations later this summer, around his third birthday. I would like to get going on whatever helpful activities are available as soon as possible.

I will look for that book. Thanks for the information and support. It's really appreciated!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 06-03-2010 - 9:46am

Here's another thought:

 


 



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