Mom of 2 1/2 yr. old....

Avatar for liszie2000
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Registered: 03-28-2003
Mom of 2 1/2 yr. old....
Sun, 04-06-2003 - 4:54pm
Hi all -- a bit new here and really concerned about our Joshua. He is a great little boy --- very enthusiastic about everything, but also very willfull. :-) He is mostly pleasant and we enjoy him soooooooo much. I am a sahm to him and he has one step-sis who is 16 and not here very often.

Anyway........ Josh has been - for lack of a better word - 'grinding' the floor or couch. He use to do this a little bit when he was younger, but now seems to want to do it a lot more often. I first thought it may be out of boredom...... then we thought recently, it may be because we are trying to potty train and he just plain doesn't 'want' to. He understands the concept, but maybe he just isn't getting something. Could it be that he is having the 'sensation' that he needs to go 'pee' and doesn't want to, or could it be something else?

I have read that some kids do this and that we shouldn't get angry with him, but when we try to move him or distract him, he gets really angry ----- and sometimes he even works up a sweat when he does this. What we have tried this weekend is to say 'ok, let's go potty.' He says 'no potty.' pretty loudly and then we say 'o.k., that's fine, but when you do that, we think you need to go potty.' Sometimes he stops when we do this, but not often.

Any ideas? Anyone else have a little guy that likes to do this 'dance?'

Thanks for any input.




Avatar for heidee0
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Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 1:45pm
Liz, Sounds like your DS has discovered himself, how good it feels, and is enjoying it. It is perfactly normal behavior and about the best thing to do at this age is to distract him with something that is more interesting, if that is possible.

My boys discovered how good rubbing themselves felt at about this age. If you go back into the archives of this board, there are many discussions related to this very topic and some very good suggestions. I don't have time right now at work to figure out how to get to those archives on the new boards, but maybe later.....


Mom to Patrick & Connor, 7.

Avatar for heidee0
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 1:58pm

Here is a reply from Bill, one of this boards' CLs, from a few months ago to a similar question. Bill is dad to Daniel.


(bored at work)

Question re: 2 1/2 yr old REALLY noticing....

Ah, yes -- boys and their "toys" . . .

First, let me reassure you that it's just a phase; I'm sure he will give his penis a rest by the time he's 80 or 90... ;-)

Yes, it's extremely normal for boys his age to become rather "attached" to their penises. After all, he's probably into the potty thing now, which means unrestricted access to this great appendage that had always been covered up by layers of diapers and clothes. That, and he now has a bona fide reason to touch it numerous times every day. How could a boy resist that?!?

As for explaining *why* he has erections, I suppose that would depend on how much he already knows, and how curious he is about it. My son (now 6) has always been a budding researcher, so he is fully knowledgable about why erections happen, how they happen, and what grown-up men use them for. You could probably trim this down for your son, who's still a bit younger, but let him know it's normal, it feels good to have erections, and it's not harmful to have them or play with them. It would also be a good time to introduce (if you haven't already) the concepts of "good touching vs. bad touching," and who might be allowed to touch his penis (you, his doctor, etc.), and what to do if someone tries to touch him inappropriately. A little scary, but important for him to know -- and you don't have to "scare" him, but just play "what if" games or offer the information as a side note to the whole penis issue.

It's also normal for young kids to enjoy being naked, as well as being around other kids who are naked. It has nothing to do with any sort of "sexual" spin we adults might read into it. It just feels good!

Now, that doesn't mean you can't set some limits on it, though. It sounds like little brother isn't thrilled by all the unwanted contact, so that could be one limit: no rubbing your penis against someone else. Another might be that he can play with his penis all he wants, but he must do it in private. You can explain that it's not bad or shameful, but that it's just something people do by themselves (along the same lines as picking one's nose, or scratching a poorly-placed itch).

Good luck!

Bill (dad of Daniel, penile research associate)