College

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Registered: 12-12-2007
College
9
Mon, 12-06-2010 - 1:19pm

DD18 is just about 1/2 way through her senior year and college decisions are looming.

KRISTIE
Avatar for weberdns0
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Registered: 08-25-2000
In reply to: krist143
Tue, 12-07-2010 - 9:46am

My first suggestion may sound harsh, but if she doesn't want to go to college you should not make her!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
In reply to: krist143
Tue, 12-07-2010 - 2:29pm
Hi Sue - I knew you'd have some definate ideas about college. D and I are on the same page. A JC is okay if that is what she needs and wants. I see her changing her major ideas based on the comments that are made and I don't like that one bit!! This is all about her and what she wants.

Last week she said she didn't want to apply to colleges because she didn't know what to choose as a major. We explained that it's pretty much too late to apply at that time, but that she doesn't even have to pick a major until after she finishes two years of school. This is where I thought the idea of picking her top three choices would help out. This way if the schools she likes has all three it will help her in the future.

She does best in her science classes and math can be a struggle. Her GPA so far through last year was a 3.08. It's good, but not those ubber smart kids either. I'm totally okay with this. We really used to have to push her to study, we started this year out that way, but she's taking much more inititive now and bringing home her books and keeping up with her assignments better. It's so nice!!! We're proud of her for doing better in this area.

Volleyball doesn't have to be a factor in her choice of school at all. It's just that she has said that she'd like to play. I'm thinking that if she does, it might be an added bonus to keep her focused. She does better when she doesn't have too much free time on her hands. We all need it, but there can be too much of a good thing. :0)

Our local university is highly rated for sciences, but the nursing program is still developing so it's small and super competitive. I worry that she would struggle to get in. My new neice just got into it and she pretty much has a 4.0. They only choose 11 people this year. And the hospital that Gma works at just announced that they will only be hiring nurses with the four year degree. If they can't fill their possitions, they may take some with other degrees, but will have a clause in their contract that state they have to get the rest done within a certain time frame.

We would never force her to go to college. This is definately something she wants!! Just choosing is hard. I think some of the "fear"(as I called it) stems from the stuff with her Mom. She's always had D to step in and help out with Mom if it gets tough. While DD18 has been doing a better job stepping up when it comes to her Mom, she's never had do so when Mom has been really bad. If Mom just showed up at her school, I really don't think DD18 would know what to do.

Growing pains can be so tough. I feel for her and just want what's best for her. If it takes a little while to figure it out. I'm okay with that and will stick with her to help when she wants help.

I'll try to get some alone time with her and put her mind at ease. Just remind her that this is HER choice and that she should really believe that we all agree with this (well - can't speak for Gma-but I won't say that to her). And that we want her to be successful and have a happy life and we will support her.

Thanks for being a good ear!!
KRISTIE
Avatar for weberdns0
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Registered: 08-25-2000
In reply to: krist143
Wed, 12-08-2010 - 6:54am

Also talk wtih a guidance counselor.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2002
In reply to: krist143
Wed, 12-08-2010 - 9:20am

Our system is a bit different and I haven't been there yet so I won't be much help. Over here we don't study sports at university.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
In reply to: krist143
Wed, 12-08-2010 - 1:07pm
You know Sue - I'm not impressed with her guidence counselor! He allows DD18 to suck him into her drama at times and allows her to continue to change courses. But she has no problem asking him about anything, so that is a good thing. I'll keep you posted!! Oh - she got a job and it doesn't have a bar in it and she starts tonight. I'm so happy for her. She really was odd about always choosing a place with a bar in it and D held his ground and simply said "no". She's working at a retailer and they will work with her volleyball schedule too.
KRISTIE
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Registered: 12-12-2007
In reply to: krist143
Wed, 12-08-2010 - 1:13pm
We don't exactly study sports. It's just an extra activity and univeristies and colleges give out scholarships to get good athletes to come to their schools. I think it would help DD18 stayed focused. She's always better about her homework when she doesn't have a ton a free time. So since the volleyball season is over, she tried out for a competitive team and made the top team. She also has a new job that she is starting tonight.

I always get the impression that some countries have a better university system than the US does. Dentists can make a ton more money than nurses can. It takes four more years of study than a nurse does. Gma told me last night that another college in the state has a four year nursing program that is much larger than our local univeristy and it's not too far away. It might be a good fit for her. Give her a little distance from Mom and a bit of independence, but knows we could be down there in a matter of a couple hours depending on the flight schedule. (only 45 minute flight). D and I agreed that we can't all hit her so much with all of this. So we are going to take it a little at a time and just give her the tools to make her choices.
Thanks!!
KRISTIE
Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
In reply to: krist143
Wed, 12-08-2010 - 4:22pm

Great on her getting a job!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2002
In reply to: krist143
Fri, 12-10-2010 - 5:54am

Job sounds good. Does she get a discount on whatever they sell? Here nurses and dentists take the same length of study time as far as I know, doctors take a bit more, but nurses have to then keep studying throughoutt their career.

Thanks for clarifying that.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
In reply to: krist143
Fri, 12-10-2010 - 1:25pm
I think she will get granted a discount on something she wants to purchase in time. She will enjoy that. She really like sports clothes.
Her little sister thinks she can use the discount as well. I explained that it was only for her big sister. Otherwise, she might loose her job.

I love having you tell me about your country and how things work there. It's so interesting to me. Sometimes the differences are surprising to me, but still just as interesting!!
KRISTIE