Discipline for BAD behavior??
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|Wed, 09-10-2003 - 11:35am|
I need some advice because I am at the end of my rope.
My 7yr. old daughter treated me SO badly this morning that I spent 20 minutes crying after letting out a blood-curtling scream to relieve some of the anger I was feeling.
I don't know why (Other than the usual "I don't want to get out of bed" anxiety), but mornings have been really bad for us lately. I started putting my daughter to bed 1/2 an hour earlier (7:30pm) at night so she could get more sleep because it has been rough getting her out of bed at 7:00am. I know my child needs a lot of sleep, but that is over 10 hours and I just can't see any reason for her to be SO SO SO nasty in the morning.
All I had to do was say "OK, Laura - you have got to get out of the bed now." and she just went off on me. She talks to me so .... NASTY that it takes my breath away. She lost tv for the day before she even got out of bed!!!
Finally, I calmly asked her for an apology for the way she treated me and she would not do it. (unless you count the huffy "FINE!" - which I don't!!)
I was so hurt and angry. I went into the office, let out a loud SCREAM and started to cry. I must be the worst mother in the world for her to treat me so badly at times. I don't know how to get her to speak to me the way she should.
Finally, I got so angry with myself that I went out to the den (where she was sitting), in an extremely low, too-calm voice said "I am not going to give you the power to make me feel worthless. You are a 7 year old child and this is what is going to happen....." "You will brush your hair, I will put your hair up, you will look me in the eyes with love and caring and you will apologize to me for treating me so badly. We will hug and kiss and you will never treat me that way again. Is that clear?? Nod your head yes."
Well, The hair got brushed - no apology. I gave her cereal, a bowl, milk and a spoon and told her to pour the milk herself and eat breakfast.
I told her that I would provide for her, take care of her but that she is not to speak to me. The only "punishment/discipline" I could think of that might mean anything to her - was to take ME away.
Still - I have received no apology.
I have not handled this situtation well. But screaming, yelling, etc... is not the answer. So.... I will continue to do my motherly duties - with no emotion and not allow her to speak to me unless she needs something and HOPEFULLY, she will miss me. Hopefully, this will have some small impact on her and she will bring herself to simply and with feeling - APOLOGIZE to me.
I'm sorry for the long rant - I just didn't know what else to do. I am feeling so inadequate right now as a mother. I am feeling worthless as a person. Isn't it amazing what a small child can do to a mother??
Thanks for your understanding and for letting me vent.