Girls and "her boyfriends"...

Avatar for chicle
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2003
Girls and "her boyfriends"...
2
Thu, 09-18-2003 - 2:17pm
behavior on girls of 8yrs old. My second cousin is a very precocious girl, she already knows stuff about love, men and women relationships, kissing, hugging between couples, what a boyfriend annd girlfriend do as a couple, etc. She has a "boyfriend" from school, the same age, in fact this boy is a classmae. But if you can see her you wont believe how mature my second cousin is already when talking about those issues. My second cousin is very infatuated with the boy and viceversa. At 8pm, the boy calls my second cousin to her house, but he calls her EVERYDAY, literally. My second cousin's mother even remind her daughter when the hour is approaching so the girl can get all excited about it. If my second cousin is not at her house for whatever reason, when the hour approaching, she gets mad and anxious to be at home at that hour and rush her mom to be on time at the house. My second cousin likes even to model for her "boyfriend"at school, so she moves in certain ways, for the boy to see her. The boy according to his mom (my cousin told me) everyday locks himself in his father's office at home, to phone my second cousin at 8pm and my second cousin and him, speak to each other about 30 minutes everyday. Imagine!!

One day my second cousin was visiting my house after school, from time to time she likes to write stuff in a piece of paper. One day she asked me for a notebook to write something I gave her a note book. She wrote something, days later, not knowing where in that notebook she wrote things, I used that notebook to write something myself and I found in one of the pages my second cousin handwriting there (when she used the notebook). What she wrote in there was about her "boyfriend". The title of what she wrote was: "There are only questions", then she wrote 2 questions. One of them was: Where would you wish to kiss me? and the second one was: Would you like to be my boyfriend just one day without fighting?

Do you think my cousin should be worrying about her daughter behavior regarding boyfriend issues at that age? My cousin acts like she does not mind, because she believes that is just a phase a 8yrd is going thru, so she is Ok with it.

Gee when I was her age, I never ever in my mind behave like that with boys. Well I never had boyfriends when I was in school, not even in high school, I simply was not into it. I mean relationship, boys, issues never crossed my mind.

Im so shocked on how girls are so precoucious these days at tender ages and that could be very dangerous.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-19-2003 - 10:36am
Well, I would be putting a stop to the phone calls. At least daily. The girl should be busy in the evenings with activities like Brownies, or sports, not sitting home waiting for the boy to call. And her mother should not be encouraging her by reminding her. My opinion anyway for what its worth.

Now at 8 they do "think" about boys. My DD is not openly "into" boys, does not like to talk about them in a romantic way and doesn't really know much about that stuff. But I came across her diary (completely accidently I swear). She had been using it as a sticker book and never actually wrote anything in it. So I open it to take the pen out and there it says something to the effect of "I like Michael and I'd let him kiss me if he wanted". ACK!!! But she never talks about him, except to tell me what trouble he got into. He is the "bad boy" and has already been expelled for 2 days this year and we've only been in school for 3 weeks. Why are girls attracted to the bad boys? Oh well, that is a topic for another post. But I guess he treats everyone badly except her, hence the attraction.

So I think your cousin is right in some ways that it is a phase and she will probably move out of it, but I would not be encouraging it either at that age. Throwing tempter tantrums at age 2 is a phase, but we don't encourage it as its not appropriate. If I were her I'd be calling the other parents to discuss the phone calls and telling them that I don't want him calling there every night. After all, they spend all day together. If the child is locking himself in his parents den they may not even be aware that he is calling her at all and think he is reading or playing a game.

I'm not sure if your cousin will be open to you telling her this, sometimes you just have to bite your lip and let things go when its not your child, but personally, it wouldn't be happening at my house.

Tam

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Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
Fri, 09-19-2003 - 11:55am
Well I can tell you now that this would never be allowed in my house. I don't care what kind of "stage" she thinks her dd might be going through, I find this down right "dangerous" behavior. I think it is very alarming and this girl's mother needs to wake up and put a stop to this. Even though it may alienate me from my cousin, if it were me I think I would just have to say something to the mother.

I think she is flirting with disaster!

Just my opinion.


Karla

Karla
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