How about a discussion?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
How about a discussion?
8
Sun, 04-27-2003 - 1:30am
What is the biggest fear that you have for your daughter?

For my daughter (she's turning 4 on the 29th), I've got a lot of worries, but lately my biggest worry is that she will either be bullied and become even more shy than she is now, or that she will fall into a "bad" group and get into drugs and crime. What I'm trying to do to keep these worries from becomming reality is to try my best to uplift her self-esteem and encourage her to get into sports or something else that will keep her friendship circles outside of the "bad" crowds...

Corinna

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Registered: 04-17-2003
Sun, 04-27-2003 - 11:06am
My biggest fears for my daughter Sarah is that she would be "abused" or "taken advantage" of because of her incredibly trusting friendly nature. Sarah seems to just "dance" through life as though every day was a party. She is always happy. The best way to describe Sarah would be to say she was somewhat "ditzy". She just never really notices anything and I don't want someone to take that away from her.

My biggest fear for Abby is that she may never really be "normal". We are very much trying to treat her like any other child and give her opportunities like we would any of our other children but there is no denying she has some "issues". I know she is only 4 but I can't help but constantly think about What ifs. I just want her to have friends and enjoy life.


Karla

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Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 04-27-2003 - 3:58pm
My biggest fears for my daughters is that they not do everything to reach THEIR full potential. I want them to be happy, healthy, and comfortable. I want them to have the self-esteem to know that they can do ANYTHING they put their minds too. I want them to be in full, satisfying, I've met my soul mate relationships that are also healthy - for BOTH parties. I'll do anything I can to help them understand that the world is theirs...to take that bull by the horns and do with what God gave them, and we as their parents tried to enhance.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-27-2003 - 6:08pm
I have a lot of fears for my daughter. I worry about her teenage years...the wrong crowd, the typical teen rebellion, etc. I worry about the time when she will be able to drive.. Most everywhere you go here is 75mph Interstate. Mostly I worry about her relationships. My prayer is that she will find a mate who is a Christian and will show her the love and respect she deserves. Someone like her father who would never raise a hand to her and would protect and cherish her. *sigh* I can't imagine what I would do to someone who abuses or hurts her! Just reserve me a cell at Super Max!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 04-27-2003 - 8:53pm
Great thread Corrina!! Religion mentioned

I too have lots of fears for my kids. For Alexis they seem to be physically grounded right now, seeing as I worry about her weight and self confidence that is directly related to her size. I was a fat kid (and now woman) and I don't want that for her.....I also tend to worry about the relationships she is involved in. Alexis is a very kind girl, and I can see her *friends* taking advantage of her already....and I hate it! Doesn't every mom want their kid to be well liked and respected by their peers? That is what I want for Alexis. BUT more than that I want her to have self respect. I want her to stay in a close relationship with God also. Brenda's post hit home for me, because I have actually begun to pray for the mate God has chosen for Alexis, that is very important to me also.

There are more fears, like illness, general safety issues, poor self esteem, bullies, all those "normal" mom fears.

Christi


Edited 4/27/2003 11:17:49 PM ET by chrsti

Community Leader
Registered: 05-26-2004
Mon, 04-28-2003 - 8:48pm
I worry sick that my daughters will be taken advantage of or abused when they become women because they are "too nice." I want them to be strong, assertive, confident women who achieve what they want out of life by conducting themselves in Godly righteousness. I do not want selfish or self-centered children, nor do I want arrogant children, but I want them to be able to stand up for themselves and say "NO" or "This is what I want and I am going to get it!" I pray that I am teaching my children to be moral, ethical and good people with spiritual strength to get them through the tough times in life. Konnie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-29-2003 - 4:11pm
I haven't been around for a dog's age. (These dang new boards) Here are my fears:

School age: That she will be bullied and unhappy - I'm mostly concerned with that subtle girl bullying that usually goes undetected and unpunished.

Teen years: That she'll get in with the wrong crowd, get into drugs, drop out of school and lose any motivation for life

Young adult: That she will be unable to find a happy relationship or get involved in an abusive one.

That pretty much covers it. Of course there is all the usual parental fears of accident and illness to add, but I tend to not think about those "too" much.

I'm hoping to avert the teen problem by encouraging her in her interests. She wants to study zoology or the like in university and we talk about it and I tell her how the option of her working at a zoo is real, but you have to have the right education. I hold the Kratt brothers up as good examples because they have degrees in zoology and biology I think it is. They learned all that info somewhere. :-) I also encourage her other interests. If she wants to take swimming or riding or whatever, I try my best to find the money to accomodate her, within reason. I think kids who have no direction, no interests are at most risk of running astray. I know there are no guarantees, but I keep thinking positively.

I also try to remember that MOST kids are not the horrid monsters we see and hear about on the news. I am reading about called "What American's Fear" and it states all sorts of facts about teen violence and drug use actually declining in the 90's. However news coverage of it is up, so the perception is wonky. Anyway, I have faith that with good guidance my DD will fall into the norm and be a healthy happy high achieving kid.

Tam

P.S. Gee, I don't post for ages, then don't shut up. LOL

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 1:25pm
Good to see you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 05-06-2003 - 2:17pm
Hi Tam!!! Welcome back!! I'm sooo glad to see you again!! This board has been a ghost town... I know the format sucks. sucks sucks sucks.. wait, did I say that? but I'm glad we're back to finding each other.

Anyways - it looks like you've thought a lot about this issue...I have to say that while reading your post I can only say "ITA!!"

***hugs***

corinna