Inappropriate punishment?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
Inappropriate punishment?
Wed, 01-15-2014 - 12:26pm

Dear Moms,

I’m Kaylie and I’m 14.  Today when I got home from school, my mom took away my phone and laptop privileges for 5 days because of a bad test grade.  Over winter break I had to study for a map test.  Being as forgetful and I am, I forgot about it until Sunday.  I put it off until the night before, which I shouldn’t have.  I have done this a lot but don’t think it should affect my mom as much as it does.  As long as I do the work well, it doesn’t matter the time I do it.  But I am one of those kids who does not believe that school should be my very first and only priority.  I think experiencing high school and having fun is more important that getting superb grades.  I do think getting good grades is important.  I do get decent grades (mostly B’s and the occasional A or C).  Anyway, I got a D on the test.  I could have studied more but I have a solid B is that class and the quiz only affected my grade by a few (less than 2) percent.  Now, I am not angry because my mom took away my phone, I am more angry because I believe that it was my choice and my future.  I do understand that that I could have done a lot better, but taking away my phone would make me angry and less motivated to do my work in a timely and good quality fashion.  I think she should have chosen a more effective and beneficial consequence, such as being grounded so I would stay home and focus on work not friends and making sure every night I finished my work with quality and really knew the material.  I believe her reasoning for taking my phone is to make herself feel better, not to fix the problem.  I understand she want to feel like it is working, but I know how I feel and I know I’m more irritated than wanting to up my grade.  She has taken away my phone many times before but it never solves a problem but creates a bigger one.  Please let me know if this was an appropriate consequence.  I think it should solve a problem , not create one but still make me regretful like a punishment should.  Please let me know your view on this.

Thank you.

P.S.  I am a good kid involved in dance and community service clubs.