Is It Okay to Be Sad Around Your Kids?

Avatar for weberdns0
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2000
Is It Okay to Be Sad Around Your Kids?
9
Wed, 06-08-2011 - 1:29pm

With all the tornadoes and flooding in the news these days, it’s no surprise that some of us are feeling pretty down in the dumps. But should we let our

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
Wed, 06-08-2011 - 4:54pm
I very much believe that it is okay for our children to see us sad. Depression is another story, but showing them that we can work through sad times, that we can be worried about others (even when we don't know them), or that we can triump through good and bad times is a very big part of growing up. Once when I was in Junior High (I think) my parents went through a hard time financially. Dad had gotten ill and spent some time in the hospital and lost his job. It was very unexpected. Just before that, Mom and Dad had picked out new carpet for the downstairs and of course they couldn't go ahead with not much money coming in. One day after Dad was better, he jumped in the truck and on the dash board was an envelope with enough money to get the new carpet and cover the electric bill. My parents were surprise and not ashamed of what had happend and shared their good fortune with us. We think the neighbors all pitched in and helped us out. We still don't know to this day, but it was a very big lesson for me to see my parents so humbled, thankful, and greateful.
KRISTIE
Avatar for weberdns0
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2000
Wed, 06-08-2011 - 6:28pm

What a nice story!

Avatar for weberdns0
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2000
Wed, 06-08-2011 - 6:31pm

I believe that all children should see and experience all emotions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
Wed, 06-08-2011 - 7:07pm
I agree with your decision and feelings about needing to deal with some of your emotions alone. Sounds perfectly appropriate. BM thought she had breast cancer and announced to DD18 that she needed a masactomy (sp?) before she even had a mamogram done. All I could do is reassure DD18 that this type of cancer is very treatable and it's too early to worry. Once BM had her mamogram done, the topic never came up again. These are the times I get mad at BM!! I'm glad you're a class act and took care of yourself and your kids!!!

KRISTIE
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2002
Thu, 06-09-2011 - 7:46am
What a lovely story Kristi! We stress so many of the bad things in the world when so many nice things happen.

I think it is ok to be sad around children as they have to know that it's ok to be sad, and happy and angry etc. Otherwise how do they learn emotions? Obviously it's not good to be constantly sad and I think if eveyone in the family is sad that sends too much negativity out. If you can try and feel less sad and increase positivity that is beneficial. I really believe that life has to go on - I think I was brought up that way . Thankfully I haven't been really sad since DD was born and I know if I was I would try and soften it somehow for her if I could.
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Avatar for weberdns0
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2000
Thu, 06-09-2011 - 10:21am

Wow thanks Kristi!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
Thu, 06-09-2011 - 1:28pm
Well put Moss! and I think you are right that we try to soften things for our kids. Just like our parents did. Going on is important part of life. I think DD18 will start to pick this up more and more, and I have hopes that DD10 will be able to do that earlier since she is younger still.
KRISTIE
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
Thu, 06-09-2011 - 1:31pm
I really do think you are such a classy lady!!! You thought of your family when you had the worst hit you!! and took extra good care of them. I've just seen the exact opposite in BM. It's incredible actually and very hard for me to understand at times. Thanks for being a good example!!
KRISTIE
Avatar for weberdns0
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2000
Fri, 06-10-2011 - 2:15pm

Thanks Kristi!