My 5th grade daughter has a boyfriend..m

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
My 5th grade daughter has a boyfriend..m
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 4:48pm
Hi all. I'm the mother of 5th and 3rd grade girls...the 5th being my concern right now.

She has informed me she has a boyfriend. She is very open and honest with me...thus far...and I'd like to keep it that way. I just don't think I was ready for this quite yet. I tried not to "over-react" to her want her to feel she can come to me with anything. He does call her...she tells me most of there converation is sheer silence...or just daily gossip of the playground. Innocent enough...I just don't want her to start feeling as though she has to have a boyfriend to make her happy. I'm not saying that's how she feels...she actually is very cool, calm, and collective where this is concerned. She told him she would not be calling him, that if he wanted to talk to her he would call. I was proud of I'm a bit old fashioned and agree with her 100%. I guess I just needed to vent this...I'm not sure what I'm so concerned about. I guess I just don't want my little girl to grow up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 11:46am
I think you're dealing with it great! And for that matter - so is your daughter. My daughter is turning 4 in a few weeks, so I'm no where near where you are. Good luck! :-)


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Sat, 05-24-2003 - 9:53am
I teach grade 5 and can tell you this is not unusual. I see it in my students, especiallyt this time of year when they are getting closer to grade 6. It sounds like your daughter is taking this less seriously than you are. These relationships tend to be just sort of friendships. They may call each other "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" because it sounds grownup or mature, but they are really just friends and sort of testing their sexual waters. Your daughter is realizing that boys are different than girls and that they can be more than just playmates (like in kindergarten) This being said, I would certainly keep an eye on thier relationship. She should NOT being spending time alone with this guy. They can do things with a group of friends, or be together under your supervision. Don't make too much of a fuss either. I remember telling my dad about a boyfriend I had in grade 6 (it was actually more of an ifatuation) and my dad teased me and embarassed me. I still remember how hurt I felt.

Avatar for cl_taylor_maid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 05-24-2003 - 5:14pm
you're doing great mom! Wow, she's definitly got a sense of herself doesn't she...that's great. Keep developing that independence. As for the 'boy friend' thing. When my DS came home in 5th grade and said he had a girl friend, I asked the following questions? Girlfriend huh? do you all play at recess together (no) do you eat lunch together (sit next to each other) (no) do you ride home on the bus with her? (no) ... well, that's GREAT justin, what's her name, what does she look like, etc. It was just in their minds that they were boyfriend/girlfriend...and probably more in HIS mind than hers. I don't think I would worry about this too much, especially since the summer is coming and they won't be seeing each other every day.