self confidence

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
self confidence
4
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 11:55am
Hi All!

I am a 31 year old married mom with my first daughter, age 11 months. I was an extremely shy child and my thoughts on having a daughter was that I wanted her to be self confident in every way I was not. (don't we all want better for them :))

Anyway- the ways I have been doing this is to praise her with all her new accomplishments, lots of hugs and kisses, and encouragement when she falls (literally) trying to do something new.

I guess I am looking for advice from those moms who have older girls (2-16) and how, as women, we can lead our girls to being intelligent, strong girls and women.

Thanks!
Avatar for mommyof2grlz2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: jeepydog
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 9:20pm
there is a book called raising strong daughters you can check and see if they have it at www.barnesandnoble.com they had some excellent idea....My daughters are 10 and 7. The most imporatant thing is to love them and support them in their ideas.Realize that they will do great at some things and wont be perfect at others.Like I dreamed that my first daughter would be a great ballet dancer lol my first daughter took class and was so uncoordinated and still is and she didnt want to do it anymore lol I learned we cant make them fullfill our dreams :)
Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
In reply to: jeepydog
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 9:49pm
I think some kids are just born shy and you can nurture and love them and they will still be shy. I think just making sure your daughter knows you love her and support her no matter whether she succeeds or fails will give her great confidence in herself. Be there for her with shouts and cheers when she does well, and be there with a supportive hug and a "you put forth great effort" attitude when she doesn't do so well. Let her know how proud you are to be her mother and praise her when due.


Have fun and enjoy her!


Karla

Karla
Community Leader
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EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
In reply to: jeepydog
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 12:09pm
Hi. I'm a 38 year old dad with three girls. This is my first time here.

All three of mine are extremely outgoing. My oldest (age 7) is especially confident. She loves to perform (singing, piano, telling stories, and showing off her drawings) to anyone who will listen to her. I often have to remind her that she needs to listen and ask questions to learn about others too!

I was fairly shy as a boy, so its interesting to see how different they are.

I think what got the ball rolling for my girls was singing songs together. I think if one feels confident enough to sing, then they can feel confident about anything. Also doing play acting helps a lot. I think the common thread is that its really any activities where the child feels like being observed is fun rather than threatening.

One can feel confident in themselves, but still be introspective and not feel any value to being seen.

-Gary

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
In reply to: jeepydog
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 12:17pm
I also read a book called Strong, Smart, and Bold, Empowering Girls for Life, which was pretty good.

I think its also good to find stories that include more active and less passive female characters. I remember being very concerned that my daughter's play tended always to include "being saved by the prince." I made an effort to find story books--at every age level, that showed females being the center of attention, in leadership roles, and doing the saving. I think good role models are important.

I eventually put together a list of books that I (or others I asked) thought were good in this regard. See http://www.geocities.com/papabear/books4girls.html if you want to look at the list. I'll ask in a separate thread if anyone has suggestions to add.

-Gary