Self esteem and the sexualization of our little girls

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Self esteem and the sexualization of our little girls
17
Tue, 01-22-2013 - 10:14am

I am sickened by most of what i see on TV these days... I turn on Nickolodeon and am disturbed by how they portray girls should look like. short shorts and skirts low cut skin tight shirts... anorexic.... many people tell me i micro-manage my children (8 yo & 9 yo) by not letting them watch nickolodeon, but in my mind i am thinking, i don't want my kids to be one of the ones pregnant in high school. I also don't like them singing songs about "I'm sexy and i know it" or too much taylor swift who constantly sings about her exboyfrinends as i don't want them thinking it is important to have boyfriends. I like them listening to empowering songs that make them feel like strong women. am i doing right by my kids? am i helping them be strong women when they grow up? or am i micro-managing them?

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Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000

I don't know if you are micromanaging your kids or not.  What I do know is if their friends are watching it and talking about it they may be watching at their house.....or still learning about it.  As far as boyfriends, your girls are a bit young.  My approach was a bit different.  She could watch Nick if she wished, but we did a lot of talking, answering questions, and encouraging her to follow her strengths.  I felt if the got the information from me it was better than their friends.....plus we have a very close and open relationship even though she is 16 years old.  She is an honor student, yes she wants a boyfriend, but she isn't willing to compromise her beliefs for one.  Incorporates religion into her views......and we talk all the time!  I think that exposing them to things and talking is the best way.....but that's just me.  By restricting things you make it even more mysterious and enticing.  Do your girls want to watch Nick.....do they feel that they are missing out on stuff??  If so then you may want to change your approach......many times we watched Nick shows together and talked about them.  .  

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009

I guess i should clarify... I don't like them watching Nick in my home... i do not tell them they can not watch nick at their friends house... but they don't watch a lot of TV at their friends house. And we do talk about things like dressing appropriately. They do own fashion dolls, such as Monster High dolls. They don't really enjoy watching Nick, they are more into disney, if they REALLY wanted to watch something on nick, i would watch it with them. but things on disney i watch with them too, but i don't worry as much, most of what i've seen on disney the girls don't wear SHORT shorts and skirts, they cover their cleavage. (except for the little mermaid, which they don't care to watch) .

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Don't they see girls wearing short skirts and such at school, mall...? These influences are everywhere. It has to be an on going discussion. When my kids were younger we monitored more what they watched. Eventually, we eased up and hoped that we gave them ability to choose wisely.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009

they don't allow you to wear short skirts and shorts at school. ( i am not talking about normal length shorts or skirts, i am talking about the kind that when you bend over your butt shows out the bottom) and when they see girls at the stores that wear short skirts and shorts even THEY make comments about how disgusting that looks, or how they can almost see their underwear. and we DO have conversations all the time. I know how girls look up to the young girls on TV and want to dress like them (how else does one start a fashion trend?) I know i never took fashion advice from my mother, even though i looked up to her I knew that my best bets for fashion were girls that were young, like me, and on TV. So I choose to keep an eye on what they watch, so that they don't get the wrong idea about what people wear.  I have been reading into it and realize that i am not the only one who sees it. Here are some links to articles:

http://www.redbookmag.com/kids-family/advice/sexualization-of-young-girls

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/63514.php

http://www.aboutourkids.org/articles/sexualization_girls_mental_health_problems_there_connection

http://www.osv.com/tabid/7621/itemid/10058/The-sexualization-of-girls.aspx

 

there are more, all you have to do is type in sexualization of young girls into any search engine and you can see for yourself

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
I guess I feel this has been on going issue since Eve picked the first fig leaf! Media is only one influence. I know with my dd and even when I went to school, your peers were by far the most important influence. My dd was the target age when the Bratz dolls came out, you want to hear moms complaining!?!?! There were similar worries when Barbie came out and each line of clothes. There were scandles when women showed too much ankle at one time. We hadour rules. She was not allowed make up until high school really. And her clothes had to be approved by her dad and me. Sexualization of young girls is hardly anything new. The important thing to do is keep talking about why those rules are in place.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009

i guess it's a bigger deal now because you SELDOM heard of a girl in high school getting pregnant. And you didn't hear very often about children getting molested or raped. But these days there is so much molestation of children going on it's sickening. and these days it's seldom to find a school with out your group of pregnant teens, and you hear about teens who are TRYING to become pregnant.

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003

I completely disagree. Teenage pregnancies are down from the 70 and 80' s. Molestations were there but there wasn't 24/7 news coverage and it was hushed up. You didn't speak of such things. If anything there are less, kids are made more aware but it is the subject of more TV shows.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009

perhaps, i know that when my mother and grandmother went to school they never knew anyone that was pregnant. when i went to school, there was only one girl that was pregnant, and that was in high school. Now i hear from this one kid that there are 3 girls pregnant in his middle school, and another kid says there is at least 6 girls in high school pregnant.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009

sorry it posted twice

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003

Again it happened then. My grandmother used to tell a story of a young couple who killed themselves after figuring out she was expecting. Families would move over situations, so no one would know. Just because it was not advertised does not mean it did not happen. I live near a large Chicago suburban public high school, I have been in this house for almost 22 years now. I have never seen pregnant girls. I know it happens but certainly not often. I personally know several men who were molested. They never said anything until after the family, scout and church leader died.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

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