Self esteem and the sexualization of our little girls

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Self esteem and the sexualization of our little girls
17
Tue, 01-22-2013 - 10:14am

I am sickened by most of what i see on TV these days... I turn on Nickolodeon and am disturbed by how they portray girls should look like. short shorts and skirts low cut skin tight shirts... anorexic.... many people tell me i micro-manage my children (8 yo & 9 yo) by not letting them watch nickolodeon, but in my mind i am thinking, i don't want my kids to be one of the ones pregnant in high school. I also don't like them singing songs about "I'm sexy and i know it" or too much taylor swift who constantly sings about her exboyfrinends as i don't want them thinking it is important to have boyfriends. I like them listening to empowering songs that make them feel like strong women. am i doing right by my kids? am i helping them be strong women when they grow up? or am i micro-managing them?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009

Wow mossstich, my kids always wear leggins under their dresses and shorts too. this is by their choice... and it is winter here (we live in south east texas) . I have the same veiw as they need to wear a long shirt over their streatchy pants or skinny jeans.  and like i said i let them have fashion dolls, i don't like bratz, mostly because i see them as ugly, but they DO have the Monster High Dolls, that celebrate uniqueness (which is why i love them so much)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2002

I think it's important for our girls to be aware of what is out there before they start high school which is 11 or 12 here. There may be things you don't want them to watch, which is fine. My DD watches some programmes which are not best viewing but I always make the point of saying you do not have to dress like that or wear that much make up, not everyone does. She knows what clothing is acceptable to wear - she can wear shorts but must wear leggings underneath and she can wear skinny jeans as long as she wears a long top or cardigan too. Thankfully it is mostly too cold for spaghetti straps, even in summer but it's also different depending if you are on the beach or walking round town! Thankfully there are lots of fashions which "cover up" so you there is a lot of choice.

I remember all the fuss about Bratz dolls - but my view was that they were dolls and not anatomically correct so were not a threat.

And yes teenage pregnancy is a problem where I am - I think we are the worst in Europe but if you have a baby, the council may provide you with a house and it's definitely an esteem issue. If you have a baby you have love and there is no longer any stigma attached to it so it is more widely talked about. (In the UK 51% of babies are now born out of wedlock so no need to lock away the mothers as happened in the 1950s)

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Avatar for weberdns0
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2000

What a great discussion.  Who else wants to join in??

Avatar for weberdns0
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2000

I disagree....there were teenage pregnancies.  Girls were just sent away until they had the baby, kept hidden, and they dropped out of school. 

 Molestations happened, but many children did not report them because they had nobody to talk to in school about it, parents often kept it quiet, and law enforcement had  no motivation to investigate it.  Now children are more aware that they need to report it so someone and a wide network is available to report it to.  In school from Kindergarten on up children are taught about molestation, that it is wrong, and what to do if it happens to them.  Parents, teachers, counselors, parents, police are also more aware and are looking for signs of molestatation and are reporting it.  The media also keeps it in front of us as it is a big story that they report.  Throw in electronics like the internet and cell phones which often lead to the discovery and prosecution of the offender. 

Avatar for weberdns0
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2000

I agree with you Ramona.....sexualization of women has been going on forever.  i also agree that parents have rules....but they must also have discussion and change their rules if necessary.  I know that things that I thought I would do when my daughter was born....and things that I did when she was a teen changed based on the times, my daughter's opinion, and discussions. 

Avatar for weberdns0
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2000

Then what you are doing seems pretty good to me.  I find that children are more influenced by their peers rather than what they see on TV.....well at least my daughter is.  If the kids in school aren't wearing the short skirts and the skimpy tops, then your daughter probably won't either....and if they do she may choose on her own not to dress like her peers.  What I find totally unacceptable is where a girl wants to dress like her peers, and her parents go overboard to make her look more different...you know like in the mini skirt era making a girl wear a skirt to her knees.....This can often lead to teasing, bullying....and issues with self esteem.  I believe that girls do have a right to choose what they wear....and it also comes with a dialogue of wny they want to wear these things and parental opinions. 

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003

(Not sure why the other post won't let me type further.) This "man " abused boys for years. No one ever said a word. Why? It was the time, boys don't talkof those things, they thought no one would believe them...who knows. But, again, just because no one said anything does not mean it didn't happen. My dh knows of a similar thing with spousal abuse. It was just quiet, but that didn't mean it didn't exsist. Statistics show that from 1991 to last year teen pregnancies are down 44%! That is significant. Not saying you shouldn't ease up on your girls but I am saying that figures are showing that things are better. (Stats from CDC)

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003

Again it happened then. My grandmother used to tell a story of a young couple who killed themselves after figuring out she was expecting. Families would move over situations, so no one would know. Just because it was not advertised does not mean it did not happen. I live near a large Chicago suburban public high school, I have been in this house for almost 22 years now. I have never seen pregnant girls. I know it happens but certainly not often. I personally know several men who were molested. They never said anything until after the family, scout and church leader died.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009

sorry it posted twice

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009

perhaps, i know that when my mother and grandmother went to school they never knew anyone that was pregnant. when i went to school, there was only one girl that was pregnant, and that was in high school. Now i hear from this one kid that there are 3 girls pregnant in his middle school, and another kid says there is at least 6 girls in high school pregnant.

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