Sleeping arrangements

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Sleeping arrangements
7
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 9:42am
In the last week, our family has moved into a new home. Now my three girls each have their own bedrooms. Previously, Aly (7 year old) had her own and Natalie (4) and Holly (2) shared.

Our girls love having their own rooms now, but they seem to find it hard to stay there at night. Every night is like musical beds. They move in and sleep with each other. They rotate through our bed. I never know whose going to be where by morning. In fact, sometimes, if too many join us in our bed, one or both of us will wind up in the kids bed!

I just wonder how common this is. I don't remember ever having any inclination as a boy growing up, to move into my parents' or sibling's bed. I was happy to have my own place to sleep.

Is this a gender difference? I know my wife had a history of snuggling up with her parents--even into her teens!

I'm not too worried about stopping it. It doesn't bother me, and I doubt it would have any negative consequences. Although part of me thinks that (a) it would be better for their independence if they learned to sleep alone, and (b) it would be nice to wake up with just one woman (my wife)in bed with me. :-) On the otherhand, I can't knock the family bonding too.

Any thoughts? Similar experiences?

-Gary

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 11:30am
Well, my DD is an only and has always had her own room. That is about to change, but more on that in a minute. I must say though, since my ex left 3 years ago she has slept with me 99.9% of the time. First she would just show up in the middle of the night, then she just started sleeping there. We have been working on getting her back in her own bed and had some success before school ended (she's 8), but during summer vacation she's back with me.

Now most likely starting next week we are getting room mates, another single mom with a 9 year old DD. Kristen has agreed to share her room and this child has bunkbeds. We will see how it goes. She has never shared before so regardless of the outcome, it will be a good learning experience.

When I was younger I did crawl in with parents, siblings, etc. LOL Once I hit pre-teen though, I pretty much stuck to my own bed. Maybe it is a girl thing. I'm not sure. I don't really know anyone with boys and it was certainly nothing a boy would admit to when you were going to school. LOL

I always figure, as long as the parents and kids are happy with the situation, then go for it. I too have those moments when I think maybe she should be learning to sleep independently, but heck, she's got another 80 years or so to learn that. :-) The problem arises when one or the other (parent or child) is unhappy with the arrangement. Enjoy your new house.

Tam

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Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 10:52pm
My kids sleep where ever they are comfortable. I let them sleep where they want to. All my kids have beds of their own but at times my girls will "camp" out in the boys room to watch tv or someone may want to sleep on the couch or all my younger ones will sleep on the living room floor. Our kids came to sleep with us for years but eventually they outgrew us, the only one who sleeps with us now is our youngest. We still sleep with her every night but more so because she has had seizures in her sleep and it is terrifying for us, not because she needs to be with us. It's just easier to be right there with her rather than to run and check every time I hear her breathing funny.

Your girls will be so soon no longer come sleep with you and you are going to wake up one day and wonder where they all went. I say cherish it while you can.


Karla

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:35pm
Thanks--that's helpful, and I agree that its good to go with what works.

-Gary

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:39pm
Great points and well said. By the way, our youngest has had seizures in the evening too. She's now on phenobarbital and hasn't had any that we are aware of.

-Gary

Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 6:22pm
Abby (4) is on Trileptal and she still has seizures every now and then. She once went 6months without one but they started back up. She has been on 3 different medications and every few months the seizures come back.

Does your dd have any problems as a result of her seizures?

Karla

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 8:49am
That must be really frightening. It sounds like its much more challenging than our situation. One night/early morning, Holly (2) was having trouble sleeping. My wife and I traded holding her. In the morning we commented that for each of us she kept twitching rhythmically. So the next day we had her tested. A good friend of ours is an epilepsy doctor. She tested positively and he prescribed the phenobarbitol. We've not seen it again.

Before she was put on the phenobarbitol, she'd been a slow talker (she generally didn't say any words until nearly 2 years old). She also rarely laughed. She didn't cry much, but she just always looked very serious no matter what you tried to do to make her giggle. Shortly after the meds, she seemed to improve in both of these. It may be a coincidence, but she started talking--and with some speech therapy has caught up to her age level. She also laughs and smiles much more.

-Gary

Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 12:28pm
Gary,

Abby was also a very slow talker. She still has a language delay. She got therapy for over 2 years but we stopped because of finances. She is doing okay though and slowly improving. She also didn't smile much as a baby nor did she talk until she was over 2 years old, closer to 3. She changed drastically for the better when we found out she had Epilepsy and started her on medications. We are also pretty convinced that the medication is what made the difference though I guess it could have been coincidence. The change was amazing once she was up to full dose of meds. She has only had a few convulsions since being on medication(usually only when she is sick now), she mostly has "staring" spells now.

Thanks for typing.


Karla

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING