Sleepovers?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2008
Sleepovers?
9
Thu, 07-14-2011 - 11:55am

Hi all! I read this article and wanted to come talk to other moms about it.

First a brief intro :) I'm Gwen, mom to a sweet girl who has thankfully not been on any sleepovers yet but I see them coming in the near future. Married to my highschool sweetheart. I know my user name says 'Aunt' but I first came here with a question on another board about my niece so I'm sort of stuck with that handle.

Anyhow, did any of you read about this 14yo girl dying after drinking with friends at a sleepover at her house? I know I have to be concerned about guns and drugs at another house but now I'm scared about alcohol too! Do we just not let our girls sleep over anywhere? Or am I being too overprotective?

http://www.pressdemocrat.com/article/20110711/ARTICLES/110719952/1350?p=all&tc=ar

I'd hate for my daughter to miss out on something that I really enjoyed when I was a teenager.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
In reply to: aunt_gwen
Thu, 07-14-2011 - 12:25pm
I didn't hear about the other girl's story, but I can see why you are concerned. DH (of only two months now) and I just do our very best to get to know the girls that our DD's (actually SDD's) want to have sleep overs with. If we don't know the girl at all, we ask them to have the sleep overs at our house. Then once we get to know her and we've met her parents a bit, then we will consider allowing them to do to the other ones house. DD19 wanted to stay over at a specific girls house last year and we know the parents drink a lot and that the girls oldest sister has been caught by the police with pot, so we just said no. We don't explain, we just let her know it won't work out or we don't have a reason that it won't work out, we allow her to ask the girl over to our house. It means we have a lot of sleep overs, but at least we know what's up. My sisters both do this as well.
KRISTIE
Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
In reply to: aunt_gwen
Thu, 07-14-2011 - 1:57pm
We are like Kristi, has not been a real issue.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

Avatar for weberdns0
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2000
In reply to: aunt_gwen
Fri, 07-15-2011 - 9:46am

Welcome Gwen!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2008
In reply to: aunt_gwen
Fri, 07-15-2011 - 10:15am

Thank you all for your feedback and the welcome :)

My daughter is 10 and so far we've put off sleepovers mostly because of her manners. We talk to her until we're blue in the face but she still doesn't clean up very well after herself and try to press that when you prove you can do it at home, you can go be sociable in someone else's home. And, yes, I know and I've seen that she's much better behaved/well mannered

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Avatar for weberdns0
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2000
In reply to: aunt_gwen
Fri, 07-15-2011 - 12:59pm

i would suggest that you look at letting your daughter do more, to encourage her to clean up more after herself.

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
In reply to: aunt_gwen
Sat, 07-16-2011 - 8:52pm
I was not on the bbetter computer before, so I gave a short answer. I don't think we can protect our kids from the world and expect them to be decent, able to make good choices, reasonable adults on the other side. It just does not work that way. SInce dd is 17 and entering her senior year of HS, this is my last year to re enforce our ideals before letting her go off to school as an adult. It has not been issue, my kid has been too busyanyway. She has traveled both with us and even more, without us. I don't see drinking as a sin, shoot, my ids get the Blood of Christ with sommunion wine every Sunday. Dd was in Europe last year and tried lots of wines and beers, she was fine. It is the binge drinkingthat often does kids in.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2008
In reply to: aunt_gwen
Mon, 07-25-2011 - 11:09am

I agree. I was raised with a bit of Cold Duck (champagne? wine?) at Thanksgiving and Christmas and I think moderation is okay and showing her about responsible drinking. I wonder what went on that these girls decided to binge drink.

Thanks for the tips about letting her do more and maybe bringing home some good habits, Sue. I need to work on that - I just keep using the same old - get it done or you're not doing xzy and that's not working!

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Avatar for weberdns0
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2000
In reply to: aunt_gwen
Mon, 07-25-2011 - 5:33pm

Some kids need a different approach......I know with my daughter that I have to break it down into smaller jobs, and once clean set a goal of maintenane.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2002
In reply to: aunt_gwen
Thu, 07-28-2011 - 7:41pm

Hi Gwen

Pleased to meet you.

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