Time to move out??

Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Time to move out??
Tue, 09-13-2011 - 8:54pm

Would you allow, or even encourage, your 18 year old child to move out when they attend community college? If you would prefer them to stay at home, when do you think the right time for them to move out will be?

Would you allow your 18 year old to live on their own when they are in their first year in community college?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2002
Wed, 09-14-2011 - 8:48am
I left home at 18 to go to university about 90 miles away. That was a good way to leave home as I was in university accommodation, girls only and I shared a room, and all meals were served to us in a dining room. It was like a boarding school really. " years later I got a university apartment so I was stillin a protected environment.

After that I moved into an apartment in a big city and that was something very different. I really had to grow up then.

DD says she wants to go to university in her home town so she can live at home. I'd actually prefer her to leave home - even though it will cost us a lot of money - as I think she needs, at that age, to learn to live on her own or with friends
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
Wed, 09-14-2011 - 12:46pm
This is a topic that is very fresh and in our faces right now. DD19 wants to live on campus and we live 10 minutes from the University. I like the idea of her being in the dorms. I think it is a good way to start off for her. DH and I agree that since he is picking up everything else for school, that she will have to pay for this. Sounds like a lot, but DD19 really needs to learn about money and it's value. We'll see if she can muster up enough where with all to save the money for it this year. She's only been in college for two weeks and has gone through $100 of her savings. Plus she still works. Not a ton, but enough to put gas in her truck and have a little bit of eating out money.
Poor DH - I really think deep down that he is worried about her moving out. He knows it will be good for her, but he's still holding on a bit.
I see the good and bad of it for DD19 too. We won't fight about her not picking up after herself or curfew. But going from a tight curfew to nothing might be a little too much for her. If she stays home this entire school year, then she will be okay for the most part. She has to be able to make her own mistakes.

My coworkers daughter moved out right away after graduating. She didn't want to live under their rules (which were reasonable) so she moved out. The only thing they help with is her medical insurance. Anything it doesn't cover and the rest of life is up to her. She even pays for her own schools. Works two jobs and has pulled it all off. She doesn't live grandly, but they are proud of her for making it and for being willing to work hard to do just that. She's not even studying what they hoped for her, but they still can't be mad at her. She's making it and making it on her own.

I hope DD19 can do the same some time in the near future! :0)
Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Wed, 09-14-2011 - 1:05pm
Usually the reason people attend Community College is to save money, moving out would defeat that purpose. I did the commuter college thing and the dorm room thing, they both have their pluses and minuses. My dd is looking at colleges a few hours away, so she will be going away to school, but I never considered that moving out. Moving out, to me, means you leave home, your bills, phone, and all your stuff leaves your parents' home. I tell my kids to stay home until they save up a down payment on something! Why pay someone else's mortgage?? But, they could not stay without actually saving to move out, if they just wanted to blow their money, then they would go out. Dh and I stayed home until our mid-20's, we had no school loans and a downpayment on our house!

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2007
Thu, 09-15-2011 - 6:44am
I went to community college for a while before transferring to a 4-year school, and I did know several people who had moved out, but since there's not much financial aid at the community college level, they had to work a LOT (or get serious help from their parents) to earn enough money to live on. I worked 20-30 hours a week myself, made more than minimum wage, and still couldn't afford my own place, even with a roommate. If you're working more or less full-time, it's hard to take enough classes (and do well enough in them) to finish your core requirements and move on quickly, so I wouldn't encourage it for that reason. I'm hoping my daughter will be able to go straight to a four-year school so she can have that transitional time of living away from home, but not having to completely support herself.
Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Thu, 09-15-2011 - 7:08pm

Many times finances are a concern when a student goes to a community college.