Was I wrong to be irritated?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Was I wrong to be irritated?
Wed, 06-11-2003 - 11:30pm
My 5 year old daughter went to a summer class today all about sports. There were 10 kids total, and she was one of only 2 girls in the class. Anyway, they were learning about soccer and running all over the place (I don't think any of the kids really knew what they were doing, it was pretty funny). After a while, you could tell they were all getting tired, but only one boy stopped. He kept laying on the floor telling his mom he was tired. She told him, "Get up. Look, the girls are still running." My breath just caught in my throat. I couldn't believe she actually said that. What reason could she have for pointing out the girls specifically if not using them as an insult to her son? I found it very insulting to my daughter whom she knew nothing about.

Why is it (is it?) acceptable to insult boy/man by comparing them to a girl/woman?

Just venting and in need of feedback, thanks for your help.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Thu, 06-12-2003 - 11:45am
It has always been a belief that girls are not as strong as boys and no matter how much we girls complain, that is never-ever going to be changed. Boys are just as much aware of the fact that they "should" be stronger,faster,etc. as girls are that they "aren't supposed" to be stronger or faster than boys. I have seen it where boys are taunted with the fact that a girl is beating them and then where girls are proudly boasted of because they beat all the boys. I have also seen many a time where girls are allowed to quit or give up sooner because "after all, she is competing against all boys" yet none of the boys would be "allowed" to give up because there are girls in the group. Even though it is irritating to those of us with very strong athletic girls, it is never going to change popular concepts about how boys and girls "should" be.

I usually just let things like that go in one ear and out the other.

Karla-mom to 2 boys and 2 girls.

Avatar for cl_taylor_maid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 06-13-2003 - 8:09am
I read this yesterday, and have been thinking about this.

I found myself spurring my dd on by saying things like "don't let those little boys beat you"...and I guess I thought it was more so that she KNOWS she can do anything a boy can do (and probably do it better). I don't ever want her to say "I can't" when I know full well that she can...is this any better/worse?

Should I be saying these things? Probably not. Am I hurting the little boys that she's 'competing' against by saying this? I've never really thought about it. I just know that when I was a young girl I was told MANY time that I couldn't do it because I was a girl and I don't want MY girls to ever believe that.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 06-13-2003 - 1:53pm
Actually, girls/women have more endurance than boys/men. So we may not be as fast, but we can go longer!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 9:59am
I probably would have been irriated also. The lady that said it probably does not have any girls. I know, only having one girl, I don't understand boys as much as girls and want my daughter to be just as competitive as the boys and their parents.