What should I do?............

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
What should I do?............
Wed, 05-07-2003 - 12:19pm
Sarah has been invited to her first invitation only birthday party! This may not seem like a big deal but it is for us. Since my kids are homeschooled, they don't get invited to things very often. One of her teammates is having a small party at a local hotel (indoor pool) and Sarah is one of only a few who got invites. She is SO excited she has been preparing for days. I let her pick out the gift and card and she has had her new swim suit and outfit laid out for 2 days. The only draw back is that Sarah can't really swim. I have told the parent in charge about it but I wonder if I should drop her off and remind the parent or plan to sit off to the side out of the way and just watch her myself. What would be the best thing to do here?


Edited 5/7/2003 12:20:26 PM ET by tallthinmom

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Wed, 05-07-2003 - 4:29pm
Dawdle, mill around, stall, ask if you can help or just start helping lay things out. Act like you thought you were invited too, start talking to everybody while the whole time you are keeping your neck strained and one eye on Sarah, all the while trying to be discreet and not let anyone know that you are worried.

Or, leave, drive around back and stand like a peeping tom in the window and whenever anyone looks your way duck!

Really, if you are that worried, just hang around and make sure the adults there are really REALLY watching the girls swim.

Remind the other mother in charge that Sarah cannot swim a bit!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-09-2003 - 2:13am
I'd stay, no apologies. This is my child, and while I want her to have fun, no chance that I am going to run the risk, however small it may be, that something bad might happen to her. Nobody is going to take the care to look after her as well as you would. Kids' parties are typically chaos, and even the most well-intentioned parent could get distracted for a few seconds--and that's all the time really needed for tragedy to take place. Let them know you will be hanging around and offer to help out if they would like.

This was an easy one for me because we just had this very thing happen. Our son was invited to a pool party at a local hotel. We stayed!! LOL


Avatar for loulew_has2
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-09-2003 - 9:32am
Lurker here with my thoughts........

I am sorry I don't know how old Sarah is, but if she cannot comfortably stand in the pool with her head well above the water line, then I would plan on staying, and I doubt the hosting parents would have a problem. Either way, the hosting parent should not mind you staying and helping to watch all those kids.

But, most importantly, please check into swimming lessons for Sarah. We began working with our children as soon as we had them in a pool at under age one. Shannon now four should be in the position this summer to put it all together. At our last pool visit a few weeks ago, we worked on getting to the pool edge, should she fall in. She discovered that she can get to the edge, and walk with her hands to the ladder to get out.

Hope she has a wonderful time at the party.

Karen, with Dylan age 11, and Shannon age 4

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Fri, 05-09-2003 - 9:48am
Hi Karen,

Sarah is 9 years old. We have been working on swimming with her for years. She is TERRIFIED of the water. I don't know why because my other children really like swimming. She can now hold her breath and go under water and if she fell in over her head she may be able to get to the side dog paddling. She cannot float at all and I mean not at all! She is an "extreme athlete"(competition gymnast)and her coach says her build may be contributing to her problem. I think it may be a combination of being afraid and her build. We made much progress in swimming last summer so I am hoping this year she may do much better. She now enjoys going to the pool and will "practice" floating and swimming underwater in the shallow end.


Karla,Sarah(9), and Abby(4)