no partner...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2005
no partner...
6
Thu, 01-31-2013 - 7:42am

DH got a taste of what I have been stressing about all these years.  At the Entrepeneuer night last week he saw how a GOOD majority of the kids were paired up with partneers and DS was alone in his booth.  DS had told us he had asked a few people if they wanted ot be partners..they either said no, that they alreayd had a partner..or they said yes then backed out next day..etc.  I felt bad as he was telling me all this ...and DH saw for himself that night.  Then when they had a social studies project to do and the teacher told them they could pair up....same thing happened.  He did it on his own ( which to tell u the truth I thought was best)....but we were looking at the report maps on line 9 the teacher posted them)..and they were all teams...except chrsitophers.  and now the science fair....he asked one boy ( i was there ot hear it)..and he said yes...but then when he wanted to confirm it ..they boy said "I dont know".  I feel really bad cause he really would like a partner to do these things with..I mean who wouldn't want to be with someone to do somthing...and it would be a good experience for him to have to do somthing with someone.  jsut wonerding if anyone else has gone thru this ..or is going thru this...

Valentine Bingo               

Avatar for creddig
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2000
Thu, 01-31-2013 - 9:35am

Awww. Poor Christopher.  That is too bad, especially since he has really grown up in the last year or so.  It's too bad his peers don't see it.  My neighbor is having the opposite problem with her daughter.  Abby is a very good student, hard worker, so all the girls want to pair up with Abby.  Then, when it comes time to actually doing the work, guess who does 80% of the work...Abby.  She is really frustrated and would really like to work alone instead of having so many gorup projects.  Ironic.

Keep reinforcing his growth and support at home as best you can.  Eventually, if he keeps doing great projects the other kids will catch on that working with Christopher could be beneficial to them since he obviously gets it done on his own.  Have you asked the teacher to think about assigning partners just once, so he would hav a chance?  Believe me, I get the teachers position.  She is trying to get the kids excited about a project, letting them work with friends, blah, blah, blah.  But if she/he is going to continue to have them work in groups, perhaps just once she should assign a partner for everyone so C gets a chance to prove to a classmate that he can be a great partner.

Christen

Avatar for janx7
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2001
Thu, 01-31-2013 - 10:45am
Mike was the same way - so group projects rarely worked for him. Hopefully, kids will realize soon that C is one to join up with because of the quality of the work and his work ethic and that he's a great kid to hang around with. Christen's right, don't give up and don't give up on C. He's an awesome kid!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2005
Thu, 01-31-2013 - 12:16pm

See I think if he works with someone HE IS going to be the one doing all the work.  HAHAH...part becasue he has to have "control"  and part becaseu he would know what to do. hahah..but I think he feels left out by not having a partner and its rejection, plain and simple.  we do reinforce his good work and how proud we are of him..etc...

 PS ... he got a 95 on his project..LOL...

Valentine Bingo               

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
Thu, 01-31-2013 - 12:32pm

We have problem with Aidan and working with others. The problem is he does not work well with others - LOL! He would prefer to work by himself. They do pair up in class sometimes and some kids want to work with him because he does know most of the answers and will do the work but other kids have their own opinions and Aidan doesn't like to hear them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2005
Thu, 01-31-2013 - 3:57pm

we can team up christopher and Aidan...they would spend all their work time arguing.LOL  of couorse you and I would need wine, cheese and crackers to get thru it ..hahah

Valentine Bingo               

Avatar for cmlisab
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Registered: 09-30-2011
Fri, 02-01-2013 - 2:08pm

My youngest is the same way- very much of a loner. Right now he's only in 3rd grade so the teacher usually pairs up the kids or puts them into groups. This is something I definitely worry about as he gets older though :( 

Lisa