Recover 16 year old's deleted texts? Drugs, deception & lies...
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|Mon, 07-14-2014 - 12:19pm|
The background: When doing laundry I found a small tin containing two tiny bags of marijuana and an Adderall tablet. My daughter came clean about it all eventually, after trying to deny they were hers. This is the second time I have found marijuana in her possession. The first time she was grounded for two weeks, which in our house includes no phone/iPod/computer. This time I said she was grounded for a month and I was going to read her texts. She already was aware that I had access to her Facebook account and read her messages occasionally, which was what led to the first weed discovery, and at that time I said I wouldn't read her texts but if I ever had reason to in the future, I would. I said she could text her friends the news and that if they wanted to get ahold of her during this time, they could call our home phone. I sat in front of her as she did this, and she took that opportunity to delete all of the texts from her phone.
I was beyond furious and still am when I think about it!!! The next morning, I went online to see about recovering the deleted texts. I found and ordered a device that claims to do this. But now I am having second thoughts on whether I should go ahead with recovering and reading the texts she deleted. Should I give her another chance, and just tell her that I will take her phone at random and read the texts whenever I feel like it? Or do you think it's important to find out whatever it was she felt the need to get rid of?
What would you do? Who can I talk to about this?
By the way, my daughter is an honor student and an all-around good kid. She has a job, is active in sports, and is generally great to be around. She is working hard to make it up to us right now, though I have to say I'm not convinced she won't do the drug thing again. She is very sorry for deleting the texts and says she truly regrets it. Any thoughts/advice is appreciated! I am so worried about her but I want to handle this right. I feel like in most areas of life we have a really good relationship and dialogues and I don't want to mess that up, but of course at the same time her safety, well-being and future are of the utmost importance.