The Celebrity Apprentice 2/27
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|Mon, 02-27-2012 - 8:44am|
I have been watching The Celebrity Apprentice for five years now. Millions of people share my passion for the program. Due to my somewhat unexplainable obsession and borderline masochistic insistence on reliving every single detail in recap form, I suppose you could say I’ve become something of a Founding Dean here at Celebrity Apprentice University. And in that post, I can tell you that there is one thing that every Celebrity Apprentice viewer needs to have to truly appreciate this unique program. It is one of the most important words in the English language, and can be expressed in exactly seven syllables: D-I-G-N-I-T-Y. Wait, no. That’s not right. I mean, that’s the last thing any of us have. Sorry. Let me try that again. G-O-O-D-T-A-S-T-E. Hmmm, that’s not it either. That one’s not even seven syllables, for crying out loud. Think. Think…Oh! Got it! N-O-S-H-A-M-E. I would call Celebrity Apprentice a guilty pleasure, however I don’t even feel guilty about it! I just spent two hours watching a show with James Lipton spelling. James Lipton!!! And I’m gonna tell you something else: I thought he was awesome.
Sure, at first, I was bummed that we were losing Boardroom Dominatrix Ivanka for a dude who asks narcissistic actors to describe their favorite sound for a living. And then it hit me: What could be a better addition to this show then a dude who asks narcissistic actors to describe their favorite sound for a living? It’s brilliant! “You may be wondering why I qualify as an advisor,” Lipton told the contestants. “It’s because I happen to be a Knight.” And while Lipton then went on to proclaim himself a Knight of France, I can’t help but be skeptical and wonder if the only way this guy is going to become an actual Knight is to marry either Jordan or Jonathan from New Kids on the Block. (Side note: You have to hand it to the producers for printing his name as “Sir James Lipton” on screen. Perfect.)