How good are you at this??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2002
How good are you at this??
29
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 5:24pm

How good are you at expressing your wants & needs from other people in an assertive way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2011
Sat, 03-03-2012 - 2:52pm
veercan2005 wrote:
jammin2bach wrote:

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2005
Sat, 03-03-2012 - 9:24am
jammin2bach wrote:

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2011
Fri, 03-02-2012 - 4:51pm

Don't brush this under the rug - you can

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2002
Wed, 02-29-2012 - 9:26pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2002
Wed, 02-29-2012 - 9:22pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2000
Sun, 02-26-2012 - 5:39pm

Diana...Good for you for taking charge of this situation!! The assertivness training you're getting is a good thing that will stick with you through life. I got that type of training on my own and through several classes I took many years ago. I still struggled, though, until my former husband died, I was 52 years old and being alone, I had to stand up for myself. I was a big chicken before then!! Once you get going on it, it gets easier. I have no problem now stating my needs or thoughts. This may be a good beginning for you too.

I wish you well, let us know how it went.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2005
Sat, 02-25-2012 - 6:17pm
chamadar wrote:
jammin2bach wrote:
chamadar wrote:

Okay - I totally got it and I would request a new one sooner rather than later because it is your right...........her behavior is unacceptable to say the least

I have a feeling you can confront this woman all you want and it will get you no where (just based on your description)

I could bypass talking to her and go directly to the coordinator - confronting her is my choice - however there will be someone with me (T) to make sure I am heard, without interruption or backlash.

Today was the "team" meeting so by now she knows what is going to happen.

I'll see T on Wednesday and we'll schedule a time to meet.

I would assume you also have the right too see their credentials.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2005
Sat, 02-25-2012 - 6:06pm
jammin2bach wrote:
veercan2005 wrote:

I too am afraid to say things to people. i just get upset and tell grant, then he says why didnt you tell them off...well....

I think a lot comes from my childhood. my mom was always the strong one in the family. She could be physically and mentally hurtful. My sis was an angel in her eyes. she said dad had me and she wanted someone. So i think that is part of why i sometime have no brass b**ls. I take a lot from people.

Then the 4th marriage...you start to think maybe you are unloveable. mom said so too after every divorce...so YOU have to build up YOU!

Then all the other stuff...continued mom, inlaws, kids, sick kids, husband contantly out of work, health...it goes on and on...then a breakdown

Did you know i have trouble answering the phone? I will pace by it some times and not want to answer it. Calling people can be just as hard. Even the kids at times. Arliss is the same. thomas can be too.

As many of you may notice i dont go to the local coffee shop. never have here. i think i become more of a hermit all the time.

If someone drives by slowly i will go in the house.

i laugh when i shouldnt, cry very easily...it goes on and on

my new biggest fear is they say they are raising the retirement age to 67. well dh is 6 years older. If they do this he will have to work an extra 6 years or i may have to go back to work. I could not work...just couldnt...just thinking about it lately gives me the runs or makes me want to puke. thats how bad my nerves are now. dh even had to go to the last year of parent teacher interviews without me. grad was hard enough.

I may have to have a couple drinks at the wedding to loosten me up a bit

So you could say i very much understand what you are going through

Hard to believe i was a boss at one time. breakdowns will do that for a person

veercan2005 wrote:

I too am afraid to say things to people. i just get upset and tell grant, then he says why didnt you tell them off...well....

I think a lot comes from my childhood. my mom was always the strong one in the family. She could be physically and mentally hurtful. My sis was an angel in her eyes. she said dad had me and she wanted someone. So i think that is part of why i sometime have no brass b**ls. I take a lot from people.

Then the 4th marriage...you start to think maybe you are unloveable. mom said so too after every divorce...so YOU have to build up YOU!

Then all the other stuff...continued mom, inlaws, kids, sick kids, husband contantly out of work, health...it goes on and on...then a breakdown

Did you know i have trouble answering the phone? I will pace by it some times and not want to answer it. Calling people can be just as hard. Even the kids at times. Arliss is the same. thomas can be too.

As many of you may notice i dont go to the local coffee shop. never have here. i think i become more of a hermit all the time.

If someone drives by slowly i will go in the house.

i laugh when i shouldnt, cry very easily...it goes on and on

my new biggest fear is they say they are raising the retirement age to 67. well dh is 6 years older. If they do this he will have to work an extra 6 years or i may have to go back to work. I could not work...just couldnt...just thinking about it lately gives me the runs or makes me want to puke. thats how bad my nerves are now. dh even had to go to the last year of parent teacher interviews without me. grad was hard enough.

I may have to have a couple drinks at the wedding to loosten me up a bit

So you could say i very much understand what you are going through

Hard to believe i was a boss at one time. breakdowns will do that for a person

I get it, Glenda - pretty cruel stuff there.
I have a hard time answering the phone too - I have a block on it most of the time & can change passwords.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2011
Fri, 02-24-2012 - 6:10pm
jammin2bach wrote:
chamadar wrote:

Okay - I totally got it and I would request a new one sooner rather than later because it is your right...........her behavior is unacceptable to say the least

I have a feeling you can confront this woman all you want and it will get you no where (just based on your description)

I could bypass talking to her and go directly to the coordinator - confronting her is my choice - however there will be someone with me (T) to make sure I am heard, without interruption or backlash.

Today was the "team" meeting so by now she knows what is going to happen.

I'll see T on Wednesday and we'll schedule a time to meet.

I would assume you also have the right too see their credentials.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2002
Fri, 02-24-2012 - 5:53pm
chamadar wrote:

Okay - I totally got it and I would request a new one sooner rather than later because it is your right...........her behavior is unacceptable to say the least

I have a feeling you can confront this woman all you want and it will get you no where (just based on your description)

I could bypass talking to her and go directly to the coordinator - confronting her is my choice - however there will be someone with me (T) to make sure I am heard, without interruption or backlash.

Today was the "team" meeting so by now she knows what is going to happen.

I'll see T on Wednesday and we'll schedule a time to meet.

I would assume you also have the right too see their credentials.

Photobucket

Pages