Presents for family

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
Presents for family
14
Mon, 11-28-2011 - 12:06pm

While visiting my family this year, my step mother said repeatedly and loudly that her and my dad would only be buying presents for the grandkids (my step-bros kids) this year.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Mon, 11-28-2011 - 12:32pm
You are not being petty .. mho
If someone can't even say thank you .. how rude!
Of course they will say something when you don't
But .. then you can remind them how they didn't acknowledge you last year.
Hopefully others will chime in as well.
So yes I say food for your grand parents & nothing for your step Mom & Dad :)




iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2003
Mon, 11-28-2011 - 5:00pm
sugarrush66 wrote:

While visiting my family this year, my step mother said repeatedly and loudly that her and my dad would only be buying presents for the grandkids (my step-bros kids) this year.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2005
Mon, 11-28-2011 - 6:08pm
sugarrush66 wrote:

While visiting my family this year, my step mother said repeatedly and loudly that her and my dad would only be buying presents for the grandkids (my step-bros kids) this year.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2008
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 12:21am
Good on the food for grandparents.
Maybe nothing for for Dad and step mom.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2001
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 10:31am

I don't think it's petty or rude not to send them gifts if they never get you anything & don't acknowledge your gifts to them.





 




iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 1:22pm
I am not consistent in buying them gifts. I do something about every other year, it seems. I used to do stuff for their birthdays and started doing something for Father's Day and Mother's Day (my dad was beyond annoyed when 1 year I forgot Mother's Day after a very emotionally exhausting day with my own mom). I used to send cards, call, etc. Now, stepmom gets a text message, dad gets a call (he doesn't text) and I no longer even send cards. So I've been slowly dwindling down as the years go on since it hasn't been reciprocated.

I don't fully blame my stepmom for all of this (anymore), I do see where/how much it really is my dads responsibility. I guess for me, if I was the step parent, I would make sure everything was equal as possible but she's not me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 1:28pm
I do feel like it's a catch-22 but I don't think I would have a problem saying something if they say something. But on the other hand, it's pretty ballsy to pipe up when you can't say "thank you" in the first place.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 1:40pm
I would feel a tiny bit bad about not sending something but I would be even more mad at them and myself if they didn't acknowledge them again.

With my stepmom, it never seems to be enough, honestly. Around our wedding, they did help out as did other folks and I said "Thank you" in person many times, as did DH, we sent numerous "Thank you" cards. My ex-step SIL was the hostess of my bridal shower and I got hostess gifts as well as something for my step mom and dad because I knew they had both helped out. My dad later told me that my ex-sstep SIL bailed and it was really my stepmom who did most of it. She had discovered a wine that she loved so I bought her some; she doesn't drink it anymore because it makes her dizzy or something so I guess that wasn't an acceptable gift.

As a 'thank you' for helping out with the wedding we got them a couple's massage, $100 in gift cards and the standard gift we gave all the other family members. Stepmom wanted her hair cut all of a sudden; I offered to take her to our hair person and got told 'No'. My dad came to me the day before the wedding and said that she was feeling left out and not appreciated enough. I asked if she wanted to do out reading at our wedding; she said 'No' and was really nasty about it. Both DH and I were perplexed over this mess.

Writing all that out makes me feel less bad about not doing something, now. Thanks for letting me vent, LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 1:43pm
>>i think it is sad that you missed your chance to say something...but like me i wouldnt have.<<

The main reason why I didn't say anything was because I wasn't sure when I sent the item they were talking about, LOL. I was pretty sure it was last Christmas but not 100% sure! I didn't want to stick my foot in my mouth.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 1:44pm
I'm thinking yes for my grandparents and no for dad and stepmom, now that I've had time to 'talk' about it!

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