Alone, or surrounded by family?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Alone, or surrounded by family?
17
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 12:18pm

At birth, do you prefer to be alone with DH/SO or surrounded by family? Afterwords do you think you'd like to have family staying with you to se the baby? Do you mind having friends coming over to see the baby?

I don't have a ton of opinions on who is there for the birth one way or the other. I've only ever had DH and mom there. I wouldn't want my ILs there. My SIL had her parents, her sister, and my brother there when she had my niece. Afterwords I've always had family staying with us to see the baby. My MIL comes to help, but last time it was just too much. She stayed for over a month and it was too long. I needed her to leave earlier. This time I'd like no one to stay with us longer than a week. Other than that, I love having people over to see the baby. It helps bring me back to normal after birth.

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Avatar for chriscanuck
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 12:33pm
My mom was there for the birth of my first 2 children but then she moved away and I really enjoyed just having DH there. It will be just him there for this birth.

My mom will probably come and stay for a week or two after the birth. We recently moved so we probably won't have any other visitors.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 12:45pm
I tend to think I'd agree with you. I think it would be best to just be DH and I as well. This ultrasound was the first one we had done alone together (granted he was on the computer thousands of miles away, but still) and it felt remarkably nicer than having everyone there. My MIL pretty much invites herself to everything so I will have to carefully lay down the law on making sure she realizes she isn't welcome in the delivery room in the event she is here when the baby comes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2010
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 1:45pm

During my last birth i had my DH, my mom and my DD with me at the hospital (and also my doula). This time it will just be DH and myself. I'll need my mom in her home watching my girls. And we arent hiring a doula this time around.

after... i dont care if people visit. it would prob make me a lil sad if no one wanted to or came but I also dont want long term house guests. lol I live local to most our family so they are free to stop by and hold the baby while I nap or clean my house and make my family dinner fi they want to.

-Bess--- mom to Eve and Ariel
http://mommakesmilk.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2008
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 1:52pm

for our dd we have my mother and MIL in the room with me and DH. This time it will only be me and DH, after our stillbirth last time, i think we need to do this one alone.As for visiting after, i dont mind if people visit. My entire family lives really close to us, so they all pop by once in a while. My parents will most likely come by everyday since they live pretty close.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 1:55pm

I only want my hubby there, it is his and mine baby,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2011
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 2:10pm
With my son, my mother and father and best friend were at the hospital, but my DH was the only one (outside of medical personnel) at the delivery. I liked it that way, but it was also a c-section. This time, my parents are coming up the week after we deliver for about 4-5 days, but my MIL might come up when the baby arrives for a few days. She won't be in the delivery room, though. Luckily, my DS will still be in school and the baby should be here by the time he is ready to be picked up from after school care.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2011
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 2:12pm

At the birth I only want DH there. With DD it was DH and I alone for most of it but my friend was with us for a while because she's the one who drove me to the hospital when my water broke. If we did have anyone else with us this time she'd probably be the one I'd want there. I do not, I repeat do not for any reason want my IL's in the room!! I just couldn't handle it! lol. I love my MIL but she drives me nuts very easily so she would be the worst person to have around while in labor. There are very few people that I could handle in that situation...lol.

As for after the birth, I hope that someone will be at the maternity center with DD because as long as it isn't in the middle of the night, I want her to be able to meet her baby sibling right away. Once home, I hope we have lots of company! I loved having people in the house after DD was born :) I don't want anyone staying over though...that would be too much. Our families all live pretty close so I'm sure they'll all come over for a visit to meet the new baby.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2010
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 3:02pm

Personally I love having my mom in the delivery room with me. She was there for my first and third, but not with my second. I enjoyed it much more having my mom in the room with us and my dh loves my mom and has no problems with her being there.

My mom is coming out about 5 days before I am hoping to give birth and she will stay for two weeks after. I have to say that having my mom with us will be a blessing. DH is always busy with working full time, going to school (which involves a class each week and meeting up with his group twice a week), and being in the Natl Guard. My mom is a great cook as well and I know I will be well fed while she is here. Also I just love having her around especially since we only get to see each other twice a year. My dad will be here for the last three days of my mom's stay so that he can visit with the baby as well.

My brother and sil live close by and is the only family we have around here. They aren't able to come visit often as he has to work odd hours/days and they have just one car and two toddlers. However, I expect them, and hope they can, visit a few times while my mom is here.

Family is extremely important to me and it is a real downer that my in laws aren't involved in our children's lives. My fil would be but he is up in heaven. My mil has only contacted me once since last Christmas, through FB, to say congrats. So I don't expect to be seeing or hearing from them.

 


Karen



 


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2011
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 3:57pm

For actual birth, only those NECESSARY... Dr, nurse, DH & me! (with my older 2 kids, both preemies, the Neonatologist was in the resuscitation room doorway. Labor time - depends on who's there and MY mood. With my other pregnancies, I never had anyone else in the room. And really after, with my other 3, I only had my mom n dad visit. BUT then we didn't have as many GOOD friends we have now, friends who truly and honestly cared for us, like we do now. People are already asking to come see the baby and me after it's born.

All in all, it depends on ME and my mood. Everyone will accept my wishes..

Brandie Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2007
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 5:26pm
I'm not particularly close with my family. I'd prefer it just be DH and I always. No visitors. But, I think I'd be okay with a close friend or two coming by for an hour or so. My mom came out to see the baby and stay when she was 2 weeks old (with my 1st) and I didn't enjoy it. But, since she doesn't live close I do feel guilty denying her a visit at all, so it'll probably work out the same this time.
Shelly with DH, DD, and expecting #2 pregnancy calendar

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