Cry It Out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2005
Cry It Out?
6
Tue, 12-13-2011 - 3:42pm

An article that has been floating around my Facebook friends and thought I'd share for the information - if you'd like to discuss and debate, feel free - but I'm just sharing. :)

sig2-sm

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2007
In reply to: photoloco
Sun, 02-26-2012 - 11:05pm
I Have never done CIO... I dont have the heart for it.. in my opionion the child wants something.. perhaps just to not be alone.. as far as night feeding, they will give them up when its time.. my two year old just gave up his 2am cup of milk.. none of my kids have ever had seperation anxity.. they.also will wait patiently for me when Im busy.. Ive always went to them when they needed me or they came to me.. i mean, they spend 9 monthes hearing me non stop.. id imaginé, its scarey to be all alone.. no mommy noise.. my kids dont cry around or whine. And will get in there beds easily because.they know ill come if the call out to me.. so CIO is not for me.. dh doesnt like it either.. he has different reasons.. he came from a very abusive family.. while i know CIO and abuse aré not in any way the same.. dh hates to hear them cry and he always comforts them.. he will let all the kids pile up in the bed if he thinks they need us..my two year old is not a clingy child.. actually, he, along with his older brother, are very independent... So between me and dh, CIO is something we dont do..
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2010
In reply to: photoloco
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 10:32am

I am very strongly against CIO. I believe it is psychologically damaging (esp the extreme versions of it where babies are left to scream for long periods of times). I would burn every copy of Babywise that exists if I could (the author believes babies are manipulative and if you dont make them independant by doing CIO that they will take advantage of you.
I have never ever done CIO (and I'm not saying that if you, as the parent, as feeling at your wits end and about to have a break down that you need to put baby down for 5 minutes in a safe place and walk outside for fresh air. I mean, actually leaving them to CIO to teach them to "self-sooth") and my 3yr old is an extremely well adjusted child. She has no seperation anxiety, isnt whiny or fussy and never gets upset about being left in her classes. She is one of the only children in her one class that is never upset to be left and just smiles and gives me a hug goodbye and runs in to play. My 21 month old has also never been left to CIO and is also a very independant, happy child. I'm able to go out for me time and leave them with DH or any of our parents and both girls are very comfortable being left.

-Bess--- mom to Eve and Ariel
http://mommakesmilk.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2007
In reply to: photoloco
Tue, 12-20-2011 - 10:25am

I was nursing my DD every 2 hours (and occasionally less) until she was 6 months old because, as you say, you don't know how much they're getting. I felt bad not offering her food, as I didn't honestly know if she was hungry or not. (I know a lot of moms figure out their baby's cries, but I never could differentiate...) I was turning into a very angry and unhappy zombie with getting up that much (especially since she didn't nap well either), and finally let her do some CIO, which I hadn't done at all previously.

I tried just comforting her when she cried at night without feeding her, but because she'd come to expect that from me, it made her angry and she'd cry harder. So, basically I refused to go in unless it had been at least 4 hours since she'd eaten. So, I'd put her to bed at 6 and she got in the schedule of waking up at 10 and 2 every night to eat, then being up for the day at about 7. That meant I only had to get up once after I'd gone to sleep, which was manageable. At a year old, when I weaned her, I let her CIO again to get her off those two nightly feedings. That was hard, as it took about 2 weeks before she stopped crying at all at night, but it was effective. She sleeps pretty darn well now.

I personally couldn't do CIO any earlier than 6 months, but there is some element of needing to save mom's sanity in it, I think. I felt like it worked well for us.

Shelly with DH, DD, and expecting #2 pregnancy calendar
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
In reply to: photoloco
Thu, 12-15-2011 - 1:50pm
Oh wow, sleeping through the night like that so early... oh I missed that with my 2nd! My 1st was a lot like yours--by 10 weeks he was STTN for about 6 hours straight. My 2nd, oh geez. He was up every 2-3 hours to eat for 9 months. I finally couldn't take it anymore one night and just pulled the plug lol I think for him it was about comfort, but since I was bfing and he wanted to eat I didn't feel like I could not go to him since I didn't know how much he got. Having experienced both of those I'd say if I BF this one successfully I have to find a way to do it more manageably.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2011
In reply to: photoloco
Thu, 12-15-2011 - 12:28pm
I let my son cry it out, but I didn't let him do it for hours on end. I modified it so he wasn't crying himself crazy and I wasn't constantly holding him to sooth him at all hours of the day and night. I would soothe him if he woke up upset, but I wouldn't actually pick him up unless it was time for him to eat. I was fortunate to have our son sleeping through the night (read: 4-6 hours in the early morning hours straight) by about 10 weeks old. We did end up co-sleeping for a while and he took to that really well, but by about three months, he was getting a bit big and he would spin circles in the night. So, we had our crib in our room until he was about 9 months old, then moved him to his own room. By then, he was sleeping 8-10 hours a night, so I could get at least a good solid 6 hours of sleep before going in for him to wake up. Not sure how this LO will be, but I hope it's as easy as DS was.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
In reply to: photoloco
Wed, 12-14-2011 - 11:41pm
Interesting discussion! I've always let my kids cry it out, because I do feel like I have to have the ability to be my own person at some points in the day. With my youngest I breast fed on demand as they told me to in the hospital, and I don't know how much that has to do with it but he is ultra dependent and cries when he wants something. My oldest didn't do that as much. Not to say that my oldest is super independent--at 4 years old he is definitely still hanging on to not wanting to do everything himself-- but there is a big difference in the two boys. Some of that could be genetic, who knows? All I personally know is that I have a level of independence from constantly being mom that I have to have. When it is bedtime and the baby is of a reasonable age (say somewhere around 6-8 months) I am not going to constantly go check on him/her when it is bed time if they are fussing about not wanting the fun to stop. I feel like I've sort of taken both approaches because FF and BF require different approaches, and I must say I liked the independence I had from always being mom that was afforded to me with my oldest. I'm not so archaic that I think I should never be inconvenienced (my aunt is like that, and wow...) but I think I'm a happy medium.

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