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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2012
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Fri, 09-14-2012 - 1:02am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2012
I am stressed out so much I cannot take another minute of this bs... She isn't even here yet. My mom is furious at what is allowed to commence tomorrow so I look like a big laughing stock to my family as well. She horned it into the aunts who I don't know well and it just created a bunch of extra crap. My friends on FB through SO know about this and they just keeping making snide remarks on how exciting of a year this is for me. I really cannot handle this right now. Why now? Why not 3 months from now or something when my morning sickness is gone and I can function? I can barely get out of bed some days. I don't want this obese loud drug taking lady living in the room next door with a miscreant kid. Not right at all I am not a homeless shelter! I worked hard for the little I do have in my life with earning scholarships, selling clothing and boots, and working my butt to the ground some days without sleep even!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2011

I'm so sorry you have to go through this stressful event.

I'm just not clear on why your SO would allow this to happen. If she, and her son, are so dangerous and destructive then why allow her to come? Especially if you had restraining orders against her, and especially when you are pregnant and have small children. It doesnt seem safe.

Sending you LOTS of prayers and positive thoughts that she is not there long and does not cause too much trouble!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010

<<<HUGS>>>>

This sounds like a total disaster and I would be just as stressed/upset about it as you are.  Is there anywhere else you can stay for the time being?  not that you want to give your SO an ultimatum, but maybe if he realizes that it's his EX or YOU he'll come to his senses.  Especially given her history of drugs and abuse this does not sound like someone you want around (especially with young children in the house). 

I think I'd put my foot down from the get go....give her a set time limit on how long she has to find a job before you kick her out....and perhaps stay with someone else until that happens?

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2001

Just wanted to send prayers that you're able to come to a solution that keeps you and the kids safe.  Hugs.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2011

Why would she stay with you?  That makes no sense.  I'd pay the child support and lock my doors.

You should definitely take your two little ones and stay with your mum or family or somewhere else while she's there.  No way you should stay in that house..

JMHO

 

Wendy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2006
Maybe you guys can pay to set her up in a motel room for a while. You shouldnt be forced into this...
Pregnancy%20ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2012

I had a suitcase of mine and the the children's stuff by the door and my dogs. She came into the house saw the room and looked around with her very obese and loud mother who called me a skinny b---- for being so little while pregnant. The kid didn't say hi to me, his father, or the other children. He is in fact very cold to us and always wants to kill my imperial toy sized dogs he tells me because they bark. He breaks everything we give him for gifts like the bike he got for Christmas last year $200 bike he just wrecked it by kicking it and stomping it until he bent the frame up totaling it because he didn't like the seat. He isn't a good kid at all he is very troubled and IMO needs psychological help. He said my dog makes his eyes itch and kicked at one of our 3lb Shih Tzu puppies who was by his foot. He stood there and looked the place over and then they walked outside. I walked outside and loaded the suitcase in the car and drove off with the children and my dogs/puppy. I came back by at 10pm when SO would get off of his shift since he went to work after that to see if they were all there having a happy dysfunctional family reunion. They weren't there (kid and druggie mom). She posted a bunch of junk on her Facebook about me and the situation, but in the end I think me leaving with the children and the suitcase was enough to stop the madness from commencing.

According to her Facebook, She then took the 12 year old to Resident Evil's latest showing and left her stuff in a storage unit nearby with the threat she will be back up when she has 5-6 grand for her own place but is leaving all her things in a storage to motivate her. She then went back down with her parents for the 12 hour ride. I seriously don't care if she ever comes back up or not. Her parents are trying to force the move on her but maybe they saw how badly it'd go so they didn't make her stay and I think he might have said something to them. There isn't even verification if this kid is his since she won't submit him to DNA tests he's been doing this nightmare since 2005. The kid was born in 2000... So he is going on 13 soon SO is 30. This is just dumb to have to deal with this it should have been solved years ago.

But alas, they are not here. And I couldn't be happier. Druggie mom, 0. My kids and me 1.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2001

 Glad to hear it all worked out. Does he pay child support? If there's a question about paternity, he could have a court ordered DNA test.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2012
No she wont take him to court for that part on her own he has requested paternity testing at the county court during custody proceedings the last time they were in court was 2006, she and her lawyer always state a thousand reasons why they don't need to do a paternity test. He has even tried to file stat. rape charges he was 16 and she was in her 20's... He refuses to pay a thing until the paternity is acknowledged and apparently child support has agreed with him and the one time they tried as a welfare repayment for child support his attorney fought it and the child support case was promptly closed in 2008 with him owing nothing until paternity is sought out, but the court has to order it. The judge on their case will not order it. IMO they needed a venue change the case was opened in a non-resident county by her in 2005 neither of them resided in this very small tight knit area but for some reason it was allowed. He isn't on the child's birth certificate either because no paternity of any sort has ever been established. It is a court litigation nightmare which is why I think they all stopped going. Her mother ran out of funds for an attorney and then agreed to let him see the child again but mom is present 100% of the time, so when we take him to the movies or to a fun place we usually end up with mom tagging along and mooching. Even over nights she comes over for those visits. I personally think he ought to finish the whole thing in court but with the kid being 13 now by the time litigation is over he will be an adult. I doubt he is SO's a lot though he looks nothing like him at all. I wish we could get a court ordered paternity but the judge would never grant one he was very conservative on the issue. I am just glad to be 12 hours away from the mess. She has gone back to not talking with him or letting him visit with the kid he asked before she leaves back if he could see him for a bit at the park, no response. So it is back to that game because she thinks she can continue to alienate the kid. She is just homeless trash and will never be anything better he should wash his hands of the entire situation until he knows for sure the kid is his, but I cannot make him do that. He has some sort of parental attachment.

I see why people don't get involved with others after they do have children with a very over zealous ex. It is really a constant battle situation. I guess he is going to resort to ordering school records and well child checks by CPS if she tries to cut him off again. I give him credit for trying but it isn't in the correct way. The correct way is spending the money on an attorney and taking her for a ride. She can't even drive to court I bet now with no car (repossession, and all the DUI's/tickets) so then what? He might get a venue change uncontested get in with another judge and get the dang DNA test done! However, he doesn't wish to ruin his only chances with seeing the kid if it fails...

I am just happy they aren't here!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2012
12* but I consider him 13... he will be early into 2013

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