Telling people.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-04-2011
Telling people.
4
Wed, 08-07-2013 - 1:22am

I know at least one of you is on your fourth as well.  How do you plan to tell people?  Are you worried about people disapproving of your decision to have another?  I told DH today.  I wasn't going to tell him yet, as I knew he'd be upset (we weren't planning on this one, as usual) but I can't keep secrets from him, and I knew it would involve some lies.  However, we're not telling anyone else until we have to.  I have some fairly major mental health issues, and I'm on a lot of medication, so I know that there will be a lot of people who don't approve.  Has anyone else dealt with this?  How did you do it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2013
Thu, 08-08-2013 - 12:31pm

I'm in a bit of a different situation, since I'm expecting my first, but I just wanted to send some positive thoughts your way.  It stinks that you should even have to worry about what others may think. How did your DH take the news when you told him?

Community Leader
Registered: 05-04-2011
Thu, 08-08-2013 - 1:03pm

He was shocked and very stressed: he's worried about having the energy to spend on four, since we already both have trouble keeping up with three.  He's coming around already, though, and I'm hoping that we'll both be able to enjoy this pregnancy.  I was very ill the last three term pregnancies, but now that I'm on a good combo of meds I'm hoping to be more stable.  How did your SO take the announcement?

I'm thinking of sending out cards to certain people with something to the effect of "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."  It's our family, after all, not theirs, and it's no one else's choice or business.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Thu, 08-22-2013 - 7:52pm
I am sorry that you have to worry about stuff like that. :( It wasn't that long ago that it was completely normal to have big families, I don't know why people make such a big deal of it these days. I have already told my parents, DH, close friends, and sister. I am not good at secrets and my belly always pops super early so it ends up being obvious anyway. I will wait to til most of the out-of-town-friends though. Don't like the awkwardness when I have to tell people after a miscarriage.


Community Leader
Registered: 05-04-2011
Fri, 08-23-2013 - 11:01am

Hahaha!  You're not the only one with trouble keeping her mouth shut.  That's me all over.  I also have trouble keeping a straight face, so when a friend made a crack the other day about "no more babies coming out of these bodies", she knew right away that it wasn't true for me.  :)