BTDT...Why wait?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
BTDT...Why wait?
12
Fri, 01-20-2012 - 12:03am
To find out the gender? I'm thinking about letting it be a surprise, but I'm a planner! However, everything about this pregnancy has been unplanned and crazy. I think someone is reminding me I'm not in control of my life. I need a little reminder every now and again, although this one was a biggie :) Anywho...other than the surprise, what made it worth the wait? Or was the anticipation enough to make it worth it? Would you/will you do it again? Or was it just a pain and you wouldn't recommend it?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2010
Fri, 01-20-2012 - 4:53am
Well, we didn't find out Libby's gender (our first) because she was our first and we wanted to be surprised. We were relatively young (I was 21) and you know, it was all kind of mysterious. I don't think anything compares to your first pregnancy/baby. We also had a TON of family that bought us everything we needed before and after she came, so it wasn't like we had to conserve resources. We had a Winnie-the-Pooh theme, which is pretty neutral, so that helped.

We found out the boys' genders, though, and will find out this one if we can (our first attempt will be on Feb. 23, and I'll probably do it again at 20 weeks just to be sure). Finding out now is more of a practical thing. It's been 11 years since we had a baby, so we're not remotely prepared. I want to be able to buy either girl or boy things.

I think it's one of those personal decisions. It was pretty neat not knowing and being surprised with Libby, and I'm glad we didn't know. But knowing is fun, too.

Good luck in your decision!

Brie
Mom to Libby/17, William/12, and Jacob/8
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2009
Fri, 01-20-2012 - 7:46am
We found out for our first two, and kept our third a surprise. For me, it made the pregnancy much less stressful and simply drew my focus to Baby. Our relationship was so strong bc there was nothing coloring it. I found that I wasn't stressing about appts or ultrasounds, just enjoying contemplating on little one. It was wonderful!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2009
Fri, 01-20-2012 - 7:47am
PS - we are doing it again with this babe. :)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Fri, 01-20-2012 - 8:48am

We didn't find out with either of our girls & I am personally glad we didn't.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2007
Fri, 01-20-2012 - 8:49am
I found out with my first daughter, and let it be a surprise with the other two. I loved finding out with my first because it was really fun to get her room all ready. The other two, I didn't really have the time to do things the way I wanted to and I was really excited with the surprise in the delivery room when they said, "It's a girl!" Honestly either way is fun (what a great help I am LOL) I'm not going to find out this time. Mostly out of spite, my whole family is pulling for a boy and I don't want there to be any disapointment if we find out we're having another girl. It's really hard to look at a sweet newborn baby and be disapointed, so they're just going to have to wait :-)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2000
Fri, 01-20-2012 - 4:37pm

We found out the gender with Baby #1. I'm a planner and thought it'd be fun to decorate the room with a specific boy or girl theme and get all of the appropriate clothes. And it was!

This time... I'm a little more laid back about the whole pregnancy experience. I'm not as wrapped up in wanting the room decorated for a specific gender and have changed my attitude that it will be just as fun to have a gender neutral room... because gender neutral rooms have themes too!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2012
Fri, 01-20-2012 - 6:20pm
w my first two we found out. it was nice to know, but i always said if i were to have another i would want it to be a surprise. and so thats what we did. i was excited not knowing, but like ive said before it was hard to buy things (mostly clothing, bibs, blankets). gender neutral things are more boyish colors than girly imo. so we did buy a few of those kinds of items of course cuz who wants a naked baby lol. jk. but once i saw my baby girl in yellows and greens i thought, 'she looks like a boy'. but thats just me. it is wonderful to be surprised...and maybe my reasons to find out this time around are superficial, but its what i wanna do. if i were to be surprised again i would def hold off on buying the items that i listed above. and ask for a lot of gift cards for baby gifts lol.

but like everyone else is saying, it is your guys' decision. im not sure i helped you at all lol...
 IAmPregnant Ticker<
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2008
Sat, 01-21-2012 - 10:51pm

Well, of course this is only my personal experience and opinion, but I love to know beforehand. I waited with my oldest and the anticipation drove me crazy. I found out with all the rest. For me, I think finding out helps me be prepared and organized (my personality type) and I love bonding and knowing that I'm having a son... or a daughter. It's definitely a personal decision and what works best for you, may not work best for other people. I will find out with this one, for sure!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2012
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 12:48pm

I didn't find out with Owen, I wanted a surprise. That being said, I knew in my heart he was a boy, without a doubt. I dreamt it, and I just knew. It was so much fun to have friends and family guessing, and in labor, I just couldn't wait to see that I was right. This time I don't know. I kind of want to find out in order to prepare for baby. I'm not a huge fan of green and yellow, and I kind of want to see what it would be like to know ahead of time. I haven't decided yet though. I don't want to be disapointed after I find out, regret keeping it a surprise. I have the feeling I am having a girl though, although I am not as positive as I was with Owen, it might be my hopes more than intuition.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2008
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 1:24pm
I'm considering waiting with this one because it won't have its own room for a long time (if ever) anyway, and it's my third so I likely won't have a shower. I figure I can buy a bunch of unisex onesies and sleepers for the first month or so and by then I'll be out and about to buy gender specific clothes as needed. I also plan on going natural again and I think having that extra little detail to anticipate would be a good thing to keep me going through labor. And it would just be a ton of fun to hear my husband be the one to say "IT'S A BOY/GIRL!"

The only thing that has me hesitating is that I know the grandmothers won't like having to wait, and while we don't completely depend on them, they do help us a TON with buying clothes and things. And also I'm not 100% sold on waiting myself so I'm not sure I'll be able to wait. We'll see in 11 more weeks I guess!

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