Feeling like a failure......

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2009
Feeling like a failure......
6
Wed, 01-04-2012 - 9:36pm

I am not one for pity parties.....however.......

Does anyone else feel like everything in their life is suffering because of you pregnancy??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2010
Thu, 01-05-2012 - 8:11am

Oh, were it not for the children (19/15/11), our house would have gone to pot by now for sure. I've been exhausted since before I knew I was pregnant and it's hard for me to get motivated to do much of anything. The kids take care of the garbage, the kitchen cleanup, and the dishes, but I still am left with overall cleaning and a good part of laundry, and I do get backed up... but I think the older two are going to start chipping in a bit more, at least for a bit.

But, I don't feel like a failure. This lack of energy is because I've got another life growing inside of me, and there's nothing I can do about feeling wiped out. And, the first trimester is always challenging. In another month, you'll probably feel a bit more like yourself, and maybe you'll get around to the dishes and laundry. ;) But, as long as you're not living in absolute filth and are taking care of Claire, I don't think you should beat yourself up over it. Your body is doing big things right now, so you're going to be zapped. Just do what you absolutely have to do, and let everything else slide for a bit.

Also, IMO, your daughter isn't going to remember that mommy didn't do dishes/laundry/make the beds when she was little. She WILL remember play-time. Enjoy the precious few months you have left with her being the Only. Things get crazy real once you add a second child to the mix (in a good way, but I found the jump from 1-2 a lot more challenging than from 2-3).

Hang in there, and cut yourself some slack... I'm sure you're doing better than you think.

Brie
#4 EDD 8/5/12


Brie
Mom to Libby/17, William/12, and Jacob/8
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2009
Thu, 01-05-2012 - 8:25am
Thanks Brie........you are right about what Claire is going to remember. I just need to let it go. :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2008
Thu, 01-05-2012 - 10:09am
Dude, I stay home during the week and my house STILL looks like what you described haha! I've been going to sleep early and sleeping during nap time some days. Then it seems like one day I will have the energy to get it all cleaned up, but then it's a disaster again by the next day and I'm too tired to clean it up again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2001
Thu, 01-05-2012 - 2:48pm
You are not a failure!!! Sure the laundry and dishes are backed up and you might not be making huge meals but your family is going to survive! You are growing a HUMAN and deserve a little lazy time. I w as doing bad keeping up before I started bleeding and now my hubby has me strictly resting until our repeat scan next week because it's worse when I'm up and about all day. He is a wonderful man who helps all he can but something's just aren't being done. I'm trying not to stress about it and figure it will get better later on.

Jenn (28) & DH Zach (28)
Married 9/24/2005

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2009
Thu, 01-05-2012 - 3:55pm
Thanks ladies......I am really freaking out about everything.....especially the grading, but I wasn't thinking about it like how you all are saying it. I AM growing a human! LOL! So, I am going to cut myself some slack. I called in sick to work today because I have had such horrible m/s. I relaxed and napped today and it felt great. I did talk to my hubby last night about my concerns and he said not to worry about the house. He would take care of it. I hope he is right. LOL!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2000
Thu, 01-05-2012 - 8:42pm

Don't beat yourself up! If there is one time to slack, it's now! (And after the baby comes :) I'm also worthless right now. I'm not too horrible sick. Just feel a little worse from time to time.... and my house is a disaster!! I figure the nesting will kick in soon enough and all will be solved!

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