Its going to be a bad day...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2011
Its going to be a bad day...
Wed, 02-15-2012 - 2:08pm
So while almost everyone in my family already knew, we officially announced our pregnancy yesterday, and while many were concerned they were overall very happy and excited. Well the only person who wasn't around yesterday was my uncle(my fathers brother), so we told him this morning. My father passed away when I was 9 so he's been the only real father figure I've had. We haven't had a great relationship, he's very vocal about his opinions and such and that's always been a problem, but we deal with it. While I knew he wouldn't be happy about all this I expected he would just sort of get over it like he did the first time. Well he didn't. He not only made sure we knew he was unhappy, he proceeded to call not only me but my husband lazy. Informing us we are on the verge of poverty, ( we put an offer on buying a house yesterday), and that we just work the jobs that are easy because we don't want to try any harder (my husband works a 40 hour a week night job and part time day job, and I only work part time during the day at a coffee shop because I haven't been able to find a teaching job in 3 years). I totally lost it and started screaming and cursing at him which I felt horrible about because my daughter was there. After him refusing to listen to us for 20 minutes I made the decision to kick him out of my house and told him he could no longer have any contact with us or my daughter. I feel so lost and upset, but I know deep down this is probably the best thing for my family. I just wish it could have turned out better. Thanks for listening, I know we are all having problems at some point.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2007
Wed, 02-15-2012 - 8:49pm
Aw, bless your heart! If we all waited until we were in the perfect situation to have children, NO ONE would ever have any. I know it doesn't matter to you at all, but I'm excited for you :-) Don't worry abotu cursing and yelling, although it may not have been the most ideal, sometimes you need to get your point accross. Keep your head up, you're bringing a new life into the world, you're starting a new generation and a new legacy. Your nuclear family matters much more than your extended family, because you and your husband are building it. Try to concentrate on who this baby will be, what he or she will mean to you, and forget the stupid. Easier said than done, I know :-) But true none the less.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2010
Thu, 02-16-2012 - 7:36am

I agree with Chelsey. I'm sorry you're going through this, but you have your own life to live and quite honestly, it is no one else's business how you're doing it. As long as you are happy and fulfilled, everyone else can shove it, IMO.

I don't have a relationship with my mother. She hasn't seen Libby since she was a toddler, and she's never met the boys, and she probably never will. She's still punishing me for things I did in my youth (my teen years). I call her every few years, but she just won't let things go, and I decided this last time that enough was enough and I'm not going to keep trying. I'm not the same person I was at 15, or 25 or even 35. People change and if she doesn't get that, then that's on her and not me.

People are always saying that life is too short for XYZ, but I feel like life is entirely too long to deal with nonsense that we don't have to. There's enough BS in our lives that we cannot control, so it seems silly to put ourselves in a situtation that is going to be less than optimum for our mental health. Then, when you consider what you want your children to be around, that's really the clincher for me.

Maybe at a later date your uncle will change, and maybe not. All you can do is take care of you and yours and let things fall where they may.

Big hugs to you.

Mom to Libby/17, William/12, and Jacob/8
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Thu, 02-16-2012 - 9:23am

I'm so sorry!!