Neg. Reactions to Pregnancy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2006
Neg. Reactions to Pregnancy?
15
Mon, 01-09-2012 - 11:02pm

Anyone else having negative reactions to the pregnancy news?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2010
Sun, 01-15-2012 - 6:35am
Ugh, people can be so ignorant and mean. Sorry you've had to deal with this.

But I'm glad you've decided not to let the BS affect your outlook. In the end, all that matters is how you feel about your life. :)

Brie

Brie
Mom to Libby/17, William/12, and Jacob/8
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2010
Sun, 01-15-2012 - 6:33am
Aww, thanks! :)

Brie

Brie
Mom to Libby/17, William/12, and Jacob/8
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Sat, 01-14-2012 - 1:24am
I agree. I'm so PO'ed bc one of ny husband's friends assumed bc I'm not working and this baby is #4 that we are on welfare!! He even ran his mouth about how my poor kids have to sacrifice now. Like Chelly said so what we don't eat out, we don't take big vacations, and my 5 year old isn't a football star or my 4 year old a prima ballerina yet! My gosh my kids are spoiled rotten and my hubbys income gets us by fine. People that need welfare, use it, ones who abuse it, its not my fault, but I'm NOT using it, do NOT assuming I'm using it, and do start telling people your paying for my child!! It just burns me when ppl assume. My family is thrilled, hubbys family isn't overly excited but they weren't negative. A lot of our friends were negative. It's unheard of around here to have 4 kids. A friend of mine was saying how she's said her and her DH are done and explained how she doesn't feel like she could give the time and love to anymore. I said that's understandable. It's a personal choice though. I'm not saying I'm better than her bc I can "manage" more children but she's not better than me either bc her 2 get more 1 on 1 time. It's what works for your own family. It's ashame ppl can't just be happy. I've decided this is my last and everyone can be negative but I'm happy and enjoying every moments especially after thinking I had lost this pregnancy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Sat, 01-14-2012 - 1:05am
Brie I love your story! I'm sorry you had a bump in the road but I'm glad you found happiness and I think its sweet you wound up back with your Hubby. After all you've been through you most certainty got this!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2007
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 4:55pm
Exactly! It's like, we take good care of our children, our children are well behaved and nice little children, and we can totally take care of them, so why does everyone have an opinion?!? So we don't go out to eat or take vacations, who cares?! Pretty sure that's our issue, not anyone elses. Ugh, their loss! ;-)
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2012
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 1:39pm

so far we have only told a few people.

 IAmPregnant Ticker<
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2010
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 6:02am

That's too bad. :(

I don't think we've had necessarily negative reactions too much. With the kids it was touch-and-go for a minute. Libby (19) had a brain fart for about a minute, and then I basically told her to get over it and it wasn't about her, and now she's a huge supporter. Jake (11) didn't believe us, and Will (15) only cared about not giving up his room. All 3 are 100% on board now and are excited.

Told FIL via email and he's happy for us. Haven't talked Dad yet, but told his wife and she was shocked, and almost sounded like she wasn't going to be happy for us at first, and I just told her that this is how it is and babies rock and then she seemed to be ok. Funny thing is, she and Dad are very religious, and not a month before we found out I was pregnant, Dad and I had a big discussion on birth control and babies and God's plan and all that... and he doesn't think we should be preventing pregnancy. Society as a whole, I mean. So, when we finally do talk, I'll be sure to bring that up. :)

But, with Dad it wouldn't be about babies -- he loves my three and my step-sister's two kids very much. He's a great father and grandfather. He just worries, as parents do.

And, hubby and I have a different kind of relationship, really hectic and crazy I guess. For one, we're not married anymore (it's just easier to call him my husband rather than explain it to everyone we meet). He's the father of my 3 kids and this baby... We got pregnant with Libby in '91 I swear in the first few weeks of knowing each other, and I couldn't marry him just because of a baby. Seemed silly. We didn't even get married until after Will was born in '96. Then, in 2004 our marriage went to hell when we moved to NC, he had an affair, so I left him and took the kids back to Indiana, got a divorce (just before he had a child with the "other woman"), finished my undergrad degree, got married a second time, went to grad school, got divorced within a year, and then in 2008 Big K and I found our way back to one another. We moved back in with him in 2009 after I wrapped up grad school, and here we are. Moved to TX in June for his work, and just now really getting back on track financially (we had a house in NC, where we moved from, and it took several months to sell, so paying the equivalent of 2 mortgages/utilities for several months). We've no intention of getting remarried, either, at least not for a while.

Anyhoo. So, if the family isn't 100% on board, I can kind of understand a bit, but we really don't care. We're both in our 40s, our sh*t is as together as anyone's, and as nervous as I am about practically starting over, the 5 of us are excited and happy about the new baby. We were in far direr straights when we got pregnant with Libby. We can certainly do this. :)

Brie

#4 EDD 8/5/12


Brie
Mom to Libby/17, William/12, and Jacob/8
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2008
Tue, 01-10-2012 - 10:25pm

I don't know why families have such a hard time with other people's decision to have more children. My MIL is going to be super rude so we have put off telling her up to this point. I don't really know when we'll tell her, but certainly not looking forward to it. I can completely relate the pp who has an adult daughter because I am in the same boat. People just look at us and think... what could you possibly be thinking?!?! I don't really care though. We do not ask anybody for help and we take good care of all of our children.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2007
Tue, 01-10-2012 - 8:57pm
I have a very strange extended family. Dh's step mom hasn't even talked to me since I told her we were pregnant on Christmas, DH's mom just went on and on about how we couldn't afford another baby (pretty sure we've never asked her for money so it's none of her darn business) and how stressed we're going to be and bla bla bla. DH's dad said congratulations and that was all and I haven't talked to him since I told him. I honestly don't care. We're thrilled about this baby and are thanking God for him or her. It's their loss IMO.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2011
Tue, 01-10-2012 - 7:40pm
Well considering this is our 4th and our youngest is 8 and our oldest will be 18 in a month...yeah we got some major odd looks like what in the world are you guys doing, LOL!

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