so upset

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2011
so upset
12
Fri, 12-23-2011 - 5:21pm

I posted a few days ago about how unhappy I was about being pregnant. I have been wrestling with having an abortion for the last few days, and I feel like I have made up my mind. I have one son who is autistic, we share a room with my super dysfunctional parents, and I am not in love with the baby's father. I struggle with the paycheck i have to just stay above water.

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2007
In reply to: kidsteacher
Fri, 12-23-2011 - 7:53pm

I'm so sorry, and I can't imagine how difficult life is right now.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2001
In reply to: kidsteacher
Sat, 12-24-2011 - 6:15am
I don't believe in abortion for myself but I do believe everyone has a right to choose.

Jenn (28) & DH Zach (28)
Married 9/24/2005

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2011
In reply to: kidsteacher
Wed, 12-28-2011 - 11:53pm
Adoption is not an option. I go to the Dr next week abt it.
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2001
In reply to: kidsteacher
Thu, 12-29-2011 - 8:23am
Good luck and (((HUGS))) on any decisions.

Jenn (28) & DH Zach (28)
Married 9/24/2005

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2011
In reply to: kidsteacher
Thu, 12-29-2011 - 1:31pm

No judgement here whatsoever. I'm so sorry you have to go thru with a decision like this. As someone who when thru that twice as a teenager, I would like to give you a little advice to think very strongly before going thru with it. At the time I went thru mine, I knew it was a quick fix and thought it would never effect me. However, I've gone thru a lot of emotional problems because of it. There is nothing that compares to the emotions I go thru now as an adult and mom.

I just want you to know that it's such a life changing decision. I have a friend who has an autistic son and I see the daily struggles she goes thru with him, I know how hard it is. I was a single mom for a long time with my daughter and while it was really hard I did get thru it. I've since met and married a man who now helps me raise her and our daughter together. I wish you luck in your decision.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2011
In reply to: kidsteacher
Sat, 12-31-2011 - 2:28pm

There is nothing wrong with having an abortion. There is no baby yet, only an embryo that cannot think or feel. It is your body, your choice and no one else's business. If I was in your situation I suspect I would have an abortion as well. You need to do what is best for your family, yourself and your son. 1/3 of American women have an abortion at some point in their lives. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Best of luck.

Expecting baby #1 August 8th 2012! It's a girl!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2011
In reply to: kidsteacher
Fri, 01-06-2012 - 12:55pm

I had decided to keep my baby. I told my parents and we were going to try and figure things out. I went to my OB today, and they couldn't find a heartbeat. She said I miscarried. I am numb. I feel like this was my fault since I was going to abort it. I don't know if I could have even gone thru with the abortion, but I know that I was under extreme stress.

But I am filled with grief and guilt. I am not sure how I should feel. I have to have a D&C next week and I am just really numb. I am sure this is all normal, but it still doesn't feel right or good. My parents are not offering much sympathy and I still feel alone. I hope it all passes, I am tired of feeling depressed and sad and crying all the time.

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2001
In reply to: kidsteacher
Fri, 01-06-2012 - 1:13pm
I'm so sorry. I know it doesn't help much but it is DEFINITELY not your fault in any way. There is a very big chance that when I go for my follow up next week we won't find a heartbeat. I am preparing now to handle tht emotionally. Wantin or not wanting your pregnancy did NOT make this happen. There are many unwanted pregnancies that continue to term and many many wante ones that don't. Sending P&PT to you . (((HUGS))) take time to recover physically and good luck in the future.

Jenn (28) & DH Zach (28)
Married 9/24/2005

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2011
In reply to: kidsteacher
Fri, 01-06-2012 - 2:33pm
If I conceived Nov 26/27.... wouldn't it be too soon to see a heartbeat? I think I am in denial, but I've had no bleeding. Nothing to indicate complications. Should I wait and get second opinion? I am so confused.
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2001
In reply to: kidsteacher
Fri, 01-06-2012 - 3:53pm
It depends in when your LMP was. If you are more than 6.5 weeks since your last period you should be able to see a heartbeat. My period started on Nov 24th and so I should be able to see a heartbeat by my appointment on Wed easily. If you are 2 weeks ahead of me you should definitely see it.

If you aren't comfortable with the diagnosis then call and ask for a repeat US before getting the procedure. What matters is that you are comfortable with what happens.

Jenn (28) & DH Zach (28)
Married 9/24/2005

Pages