Still need help with a name...

Avatar for bessie_bee
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
Still need help with a name...
Sat, 08-11-2012 - 11:41pm

I haven't posted any of my name options as of yet, because the whole naming process has been so hard for us! But I feel like I need some new opinions now (my family just keeps saying the same thing over and over). We know for sure this boy's middle name will be William (huge name in both our families, every generation and pretty much everywhere in our family trees), so that's no problem, but I'm A LOT more picky with our first name picks.

So, I feel 99% sure this baby is an "Alby", I've been secretly calling him that in my head since around 20 weeks because I love the Irish name "Ailbe", but DH feels like he's a "Benny". Originally the 2 full names we were debating over were Albert and Bennett, but then we came up with Alban which can have both nicknames! I thought it was genious, plus we were married at St. Alban's church which I thought was kind of fitting. But hubby won't commit or really express what it is he doesn't like about it. I think it's that it sounds so close to Alvin that he thinks everyone will confuse it, and say "Alvin?? LIke the chipmunk?" and we'll be constantly saying "noo, Al-Ban"

So Alban aside, our other options are even harder, because we don't like each others choices at all. My other favourite name is Malachy (Mal-a-kee, not Mal-a-ki) which is also Irish, but I get squishy nosed faces every time I mention it, either that or "oh... that's different...".  And DH likes Nathaniel, which is a great name, but just doesn't feel right for me (I had a childhood penpal named Nat and an ex-boyfriend named Daniel who the name both reminds me of). So some other options might be Thomas or Connor, again great names, but they just don't feel right!!

So always for me coming back to Alby, my family seem to pretty much agree that Alban's an ok name, but my mom and sister keep automatically saying "If you name him that I'm going to call him Ben!", and for some reason this really hurts my feelings, even though the point of the name is the option of multiple nicknames. Maybe it's just the way they're stating it, so matter of fact as if everyone around me knows he's a "Ben" except me.

Anyways, what do you ladies think???

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2011
Sun, 08-12-2012 - 8:26am

This has to be a name YOU can live with..... So it is so hard to force an opinion on you..and your family shouldn't either. We also have a long line of "william's" our DS will have the middle name William too. We had a short list of first names..... Liam, Levi, Isaac, Tate, Jackson (Jack).... And a few others.

We ended up deciding on Jackson (Jack) William..... And people said they were going to call him J.W. I said..Over MY dead body....if you do, then DONT call. LOL.

I really like Alban over Benny/Bennett. ONLY because my DD who is 2 years old has two FEMALE Bennett's in her class. So..I can't wrap my hands around a male Bennett. BUT..I LOVE just "benny".....

I won;t throw any NEW name options at you...because you have enough to choose from! I agree with you....I don;t "love" thomas or connor..... And they don;t seem to "feel right" to those are OUT!

No matter what.... he will grow into his name...... maybe have TWO names and when you see of them will speak to you!

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2007
Sun, 08-12-2012 - 3:48pm
It has been my experience that at the end of the day you have to name LO an name that both you and DH agree on and no one else. Everyone else will adjust to whatever you name LO and eventually they'll come to love the name because they'll love the baby and whatever name you pick will turn into that baby's name. My cousin named her son Decan and at first I couldn't believe it. I just kept thinking, "Deacon" like the deacon of a church? But as time went on, I just fell in love with him and now I love his name because it represents him. My advice, talk only to DH about it and leave everyone else out until baby is here. Once he has been named, they'll deal with whatever.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2011
Sun, 08-12-2012 - 4:01pm

I think you should ignore your family for one.  This is a decision for you and DH alone and they will call the baby by whatever name or nickname you and DH agree on.

I think Alban is a nice name, but if DH isn't on board you should work towards something else.  Why is it a big deal that you had a penpal named Nate and a boyfriend named Daniel? 

Expecting baby #1 August 8th 2012! It's a girl!
Avatar for bessie_bee
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
Sun, 08-12-2012 - 7:28pm

Thanks everyone! I think I'm stressing more over the fact that I LOVE the name Alban and Alby and I want so badly to finally decide on it. DH said that he likes the name a lot but that he just wants to wait until he fully meets baby to give that 100% ok. So that makes me feel better, it's not that he doesn't like it!

As for my family, you're right, I'm going to have to tell them too bad, his nickname is Alby until he's old enough to decide otherwise for himself, then if he wants to be Ben he can be Ben at that time.

The fact that Nathaniel reminds me of those 2 people is a deal breaker for me, they happen to be 2 people that I don't like being reminded of (Daniel the ex was a really bad breakup and Nat the penpal was kind of a scary experience, it was a program for young kids to connect with people from other countries that didn't last long, but he looked me up like 12-13 years later on facebook and freaked me out with lots of strange messages)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Sun, 08-12-2012 - 8:17pm
We have two names picked out ourselves, Sean or Colin and we'll make up our minds about which he looks more like once he's here tomorrow. Assuming my induction is successful, of course. I'm one that doesn't like making up my mind on a name until the baby is here because we did that with our first and when he was born he looked nothing like that name.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Mon, 08-13-2012 - 8:47am

As the rest said - your family doesn't get a say in this decision!  In fact, this is exactly why we do not tell anyone our names beforehand - b/c before - they will give their opinion about what they don't like/what they think etc...and I don't deal with it.  Once the baby comes and you say the name is X - not too much they can do! 

It sounds like Alban/Alby will probably win out - a good omen that your DH likes it.  Many have that feeling of wanting to wait until they see the baby first, so that is normal.  And who knows - you may even change your mind once you see him!!  But I think you have it narrowed enough that once he arrives, it won't be a problem!  :smileyhappy:

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2011
Wed, 08-15-2012 - 2:27pm

Just like everyone said - you can't try to accomodate everyone (even your closest family members) when naming your child. Your sister's comment especially POd me - she can't insist on calling your child something you clearly don't want her to. What's her problem? :smileyhappy: Once you tell people what you want them to call your child - they will adjust, or just come across as difficult if they don't.

Personally, from all those names I really like Thomas. It was one of our runners-up for Max. I also like Connor, but there was no equivalent of that in my native tongue so it was out. But if you don't love either of those, why would you even consider them? Easier choice because fewer people make faces when you say them?

My husband's family lives in St. Albans, so I would never confuse it with Alvin. It's a very mature name, so I'm having a hard time calling a baby that, but babies do grow up :smileyhappy: Albie makes me think of a 'Flight of the Concords' song ('Alby the racist dragon'), but it's never going to make it to the top of the charts, so nobody will remember it by the time he's bigger :smileywink:


 BabyFetus Ticker