should I tell at work...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2011
should I tell at work...
8
Wed, 01-25-2012 - 10:14am

Hi Ladies!

My due date is 8/21, so I am 10 weeks and 1 day today. This is my second pregnancy, my daughter is going to turn 3 in March.

I am already starting to show. To the point where my clothes don't fit me (I am quite skinny and I have quite a bump sticking out already). I feel like I should tell my staff (I am a manager) because someone else more nosy asks me and I won't be able to deny (I know they shouldn't ask, but that's what happened in my first pregnancy - women can be jerks and put you on the spot like that).

I believe that before I tell my staff (or right around the same time) I should tell my boss. The thing is that he's a guy and I only see him about once a month, so I'd have to schedule a meeting with him to tell him. I only started working here a little over a year ago, and got a promotion 3 months ago... so... you know - I got pregnant like a month after he promoted me.

This is so stressful, I would really appreciate your input. I was hoping to keep this news to myself until at least after the 'first look' ultrasound (it's in 2 weeks) but I really can't keep hiding my belly any more. What if I jinx myself? please help

 BabyFetus Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Wed, 01-25-2012 - 10:31am

I personally like to wait before I tell work until after the 1st trimester.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2010
Wed, 01-25-2012 - 10:37am

I think it's tricky, for sure. I told my boss right after I went to the doc (so I was 5w4d or something like that). But, with my age and past history, I knew I'd have a slew of doc appointments, so I just wanted to give a reason for it rather than have him ask. I work at home (a recent event as we moved to a new state in June, so I'd only been working from home for 6 months when I told him), and don't have to request time off for appts or anything, but we do have an OOO calendar and it's just one of those things that everyone would notice.

If you really think people are going to notice soon, then it sounds like you might want to say something. And I agree that the boss should be the first. Probably not something he should hear through the grapevine.

But, for me, I don't believe in jinxes or anything. There's really no safe place in pregnancy. Granted, risk of MC is higher in the first trimester, but bad things can happen at any time. I just choose to live in optimism, and whatever happens happens. I even broke down this morning and got a couple things for the baby at zulily.com -- and I never shop this early because it just seems so... I don't know. It's just not my usual, and wasn't planned for sure. But they were sock monkey outfits and I just melted. LOL.

Anyhoo. I wish you luck!! I was really nervous telling my boss, but he was really great. He emails me every so often to see how I'm doing. I even sent the poor guy our last ultrasound pic. Nothing like sharing your uterus with your boss. LOL.


Brie
Mom to Libby/17, William/12, and Jacob/8
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2011
Wed, 01-25-2012 - 10:56am

Thank you both :womanhappy: I think I will somehow make a meeting with my boss happen during the next week or so. And brie - I hear you, I saw those on zulily too haha how freakin' adorable will a brand new baby be?

 BabyFetus Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2010
Wed, 01-25-2012 - 11:12am
LOL -- I know, right? And, I love that they're gender neutral. I could pop a little bow on a girl or a little hat on a boy and we're all set either way. :) We've got NOTHING for baby at all. Our youngest is 11 and so we're pretty much starting over. But, it's going to be a lot of fun. Baby clothes just keep getting cuter and cuter! :)

Brie
Mom to Libby/17, William/12, and Jacob/8
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2009
Wed, 01-25-2012 - 4:36pm
Were you a member of the March 09 expecting page with your daughter? My daughter will be 3 on March 7!

I have told the people I work with and the principal, but it is different at a school because they can't do anything to me. Know what I mean? I know that is not helpful, but I think you should just tell him. Can you email him or call him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2011
Thu, 01-26-2012 - 1:45pm

No, I wasn't in a March 09 club (but awesome timing! we'll have 2 kids almost exactly the same ages!).

I can't really commit to a club other than an occasional question or comment.

Oh, and I believe technically they can't do anything to me either - as a pregnant lady I am protected, supposedly. And I am a good worker, my first pregnany I worked until 3 days before my due date (only because we bought a house and I had to move and pack). It's just that it happened right after the promotion... a little embarassing for me and I hope not-too dissapointing for my boss. But I couldn't put my family life on hold - I planned this child before I knew of a remote chance of a promotion.

I have had really bad experiences with people who are only children and I couldn't do it to my daughter. :)

 BabyFetus Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2005
Fri, 01-27-2012 - 10:22am

Hi, I'm in a similar boat as you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2011
Fri, 01-27-2012 - 10:31am

Thanks Kate!

Wow, it does seem we're in a very similar situation. I am normally a size XXS (or 0 in pants) which is why I am showing so early.

Decided to tell my boss today - it is true- their wives had to be pregnant at some point, too, but unfortunately kids don't affect guys' work as much. Like when a kid is sick - noone expects a dad to stay home, right?

I noticed that all the women at my company who have high positions are either single, gay, married with no children or had children in their 40s. They're all much older than me, so you see, I am a little ashamed. Oh, and the lady whose position I took after she retired (at age 52-no kids, so she could afford to do that) used to come to work around 5 am and stay until 7.. clearly, he'll be at least a little disappointed with his choice.

Funny - for our meeting today I prepared updated for 8 projects I am working on and I printed out the agenda. The last point is: 'Other...' :smileylol:

Good luck with your promotion - if they know you're a dedicated worker I don't see why they'd pass you up for a promotion only because of a few months of maternity leave. And better you go on that leave now, than after you're one of the big-wigs, am I right?

 BabyFetus Ticker