Who will be in the delivery room with you?

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Registered: 07-05-2005
Who will be in the delivery room with you?
9
Fri, 09-07-2012 - 9:14am

Who will be in the room with you when you give birth? Will it be just you and your DH/SO? Will you have friends and/or family members join you? Also, who do you think should have the final say on who gets to be in the room with you? Since it is your labor and delivery, should that be left up to you?

Who Gets to Be in the Delivery Room? How Many is Too Many? Who Decides?- http://www.ivillage.com/who-gets-be-delivery-room-how-many-too-many-who-decides/6-a-334787?ice=iv:mb...

 

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Registered: 11-04-2004
Fri, 09-07-2012 - 10:05am

Since the "delivery room" is my living room, yeah, I get to choose who is going to be there :smileywink: I had to tell two people "thanks, but no thanks" and one person "um...not a chance in hell." (but tactfully)

It's going to be me, the midwife, my husband, my best friend, and my priestess. I'm entirely, explicitly comfortable with all four of them and know they wouldn't take any offense if I kicked them all out :smileywink: Each has a "role" and knows what it is so they are comfortable, and of course, any of them would do whatever needed to be done at any time, because they're awesome like that.

They also all have the same philosophy I do towards birth. A sacred experience and environment, unless it becomes medical, in which case, we go to the hospital.

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Registered: 02-20-2001
Fri, 09-07-2012 - 12:25pm

DH is a given but i new the first time around that he was going to be helping me and in no condition to take pictures. And i always want that pic of Daddy holding his new baby for the first time. so my dad is a great photographer and my mom was practically a dula for several years so having the two of them there has been completely natural for all the boys' deliveries. it has been a little harder each time to get someone else to watch the boys while their younger sibling is born but we've managed it so far and the plan is for someone to stay with the boys and for my mom and dad to be with DH and I again for this delivery. When DS#3 was born we had an extra day in the hospital before he was born and we were able to get DH's mom in town for the event also but she lives further away so unless i have a specific date that i'm going in to be induced it's harder for her to be here on time.

now grant it i have had epi's all four times and have been in a great mood joking with the other people in the room at all four previous births so i never felt the need to throw anybody out. if i was unmedicated and screaming i don't know if it would have gone as nicely. I'm still pretty sure though that after having my parents and DH there so many times i trust them well enough that i wouldn't kick any of them out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2012
Fri, 09-07-2012 - 5:49pm

DH for sure will be in the room with me. I really want my Mom to be there too, but she lives in Texas and I live in Tennessee so it may be hard for her to get here in time. The plan is to call her when I go into labor and she will either drive the 12+ hours or catch a flight. But who knows how that will work out, it may be false labor, etc. I know my twin sister wants to be in the room, but to be honest I'm not completely comfortable with her being there. She is very demanding and sometimes treats me with absolutely no respect, and I'm afraid if I give in to her being there she will cause a problem. It's a hard situation though because I love her so much and I know it would mean a lot to her if she was there. I did find out at my first childbirth class that apparently Vanderbilt Hospital only allows two people in the room during birth (four people while you are laboring). . .so that would be my husband and Mom if she makes it. I'm not sure if that is really a rule but I will ask my midwife next week when I see her. Since I am trying to have my baby naturally, I know I will need a lot of positivity, encouragement, and a stress-free environment (you need that regardless of how you are giving birth!!). I'm not sure my twin is completely capable of that!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2012
Fri, 09-07-2012 - 7:49pm

Ok, my twin sounds just like your Mom! haha She would so ask me something like that when I am trying to concentrate and focus during a contraction. I really like the idea of having a code word. I've talked to my DH about having her there and I told him that I really need him to stand up for me because I have a feeling I won't be able to myself. I think I am seriously going to make up a set of rules and tell her. I know if she can't respect that then I shouldn't have her near me while I'm in labor. Hopefully she will behave herself though. :smileyhappy:

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2008
Mon, 09-10-2012 - 4:28pm
During labor it will be just me, dh, doctor/hospital staff and our doula. I need it to be calm and quiet. :smileyhappy: My in-laws are a plane ride away, and my parents will be watching the older sisters (they are 10 mins away). I don't even really like visitors in the hospital after I have the baby. I like the spend the time with baby and dh, and to take some time to adjust. Plenty of time for visits once we are home. (Plus then sometimes people will bring u dinner and/or help around the house! :smileywink: )
Lauren Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers
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Registered: 07-17-2008
Mon, 09-10-2012 - 4:32pm
Oh and LauraBeth- nurses can help you during labor if you have trouble with your sis- they can make up some kind of excuse to usher her out. That way she won't have a reason to be upset with your dh. Just a thought. :smileyhappy:
Lauren Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2012
Mon, 09-10-2012 - 5:46pm

That's a good thought! I think I'm going to bring it up to my midwife on Thursday when I see her. :smileyhappy: