Do you feel like you got less of a reaction with this baby?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Do you feel like you got less of a reaction with this baby?
11
Fri, 08-03-2012 - 11:52am

When we announced our pregnancy with Wyatt it was a big deal. We got so many congrats it was overwhelming. We had tried for 3+ years to get pregnant so it was a pretty big deal to us obviously. This time around it feels like we haven't gotten much fan fair. Maybe a third of my "friends" on Facebook have liked or commented on the announcement. I am super excited this time around because it happened naturally with out any fertility drugs. I don't know if it is because this is our third child or becaues it didn't take a lot of time and drugs to get pregnant but people just don't seem to care much. I know it is silly but I just want people to be as excited as we are. Even my inlaws were like "Ok ... cool beans ... what's for dinner?" LOL 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2005

Yes, the reaction is much less exciting all the way around honestly.  Thinking about it, the only ones that seem excited for us are those that have three or more kiddos themselves.  Everyone else says congrats but I feel like they are thinking "You guys are nuts" or "there goes your life!" or something... maybe that is my paranoia though, who knows.  But yeah, the reaction is muted for sure.  I think my mom is more worried about the affect of "middle child-ism" on my DD (the baby right now) and my grandfather said "Whoa, you haven't figured out what caused that yet?"  And even the way we tell people seems less exciting.  This little one just graduated to fetus and I already feel mom-guilt!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2005
I expect people to be less excited, LOL. I mean, its not THAT much of a change for us who already have kids, but for people who it's their first...they will have a major wake-up call and their entire lives will change! KWIM? So I think it's only natural for people to show more excitement for first time moms!

But me...I am WAY excited for my baby! -As much as the first time I was pregnant! But I just wouldn't expect others to feel the same way...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2007

Oh gosh it was the opposite here.  We've been getting the question of "when is the next one coming" for years & it was so dang annoying!  I'm sure once the baby is here and even once you start showing more & it is real more excitement will come your way.  I mean your family is gonna melt when they meet the babe :smileyhappy:

Collyn 9 mo siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007

I wouldn't say we've gotten less of a reaction. We just haven't always gotten the reaction we wanted. See, we had 2 losses before LittleDude, and I had a myriad of complications carrying him. Then he was a preemie. Between all that, my own medical issues, my age, and our military lifestyle, we were perfectly happy to consider our family complete, and most of our family & close friends knew that. (What they didn't know is that we were discussing a vasectomy for my husband quite literally the day before we found out about this pregnancy.) Still, when we found out about this pregnancy, we were thrilled. (What can I say? We're flexible.) So when a few key family members reacted to the news with comments like, "I was afraid you were going to tell me that," "I thought you weren't doing that anymore," or "Oh, Melanie! Why'd you go and do that?" it kind of put a damper on the party. I've felt more like a unmarried teenager popping out her third kid with a third guy than a 35-year-old married woman expecting a second child with her husband of 5 years. 




iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
I can't believe they said those things. I am sorry.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2005

I am sorry, that stinks that they said that.  They most likely only said those things because they love you and worry about you getting hurt, but still, that really stinks to turn a happy event into almost something bad.  I am sorry.  I am sure as you get farther along they will come around!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2005
I agree with you Jackie. Even though the response to this pregnancy was less, we are so happy to be able to finally quiet the people that were asking us when we were going to have a girl. For the last 3 years, we told people we were done having kids but that didnt stop them from saying we need "just one more" or "you really need a daughter." My dad was so excited at the shot of a granddaughter that he practically did back flips. :smileyhappy:
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2005

That sure would put a black cloud on the great news Melanie. It would make me feel like crap getting all those negative responses. I'm sorry you had to go through that!

The only response we got that kind of bothered me is when my mom said "do you really think you can handle 3 kids? I worry about you putting too much on your plate." I'm like seriously mom there are people with way more than 3 kids. I'm pretty sure I can handle it!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2010

I really wish people would realize that the ONLY response that is appropriate/wanted/needed when someone announces their pregnancy is a simple & heartfelt (and if they don't feel it, they should at least fake it) "CONGRATULATIONS!"  If the expectant parents were caught off guard & didn't initially want more kids, if they already have a house full, if they've had difficult pregnancies in the past, etc. is really no business of the people on the receiving end of the news.  I'm so sorry that those less than stellar reactions might have put a damper on your excitement & happiness. 

And I think that there are a large number of people out there that need sensitivity training ... a) people who ask if someone is pregnant when it's not glaringly obvious or has not been announced to them first; b) people who speak without first thinking about how their opinions might hurt the other person; c) people that think it's ok to dole out pregnancy/parenting advice to complete strangers when it's not asked for (and therefore probably not wanted).  I could go on, but I'll get off my soap box now.

CONGRATULATIONS by the way!!

Lilypie Maternity tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007

Thank you, Amy Lynn. It was very upsetting at first, but I'm kind of over it. Part of me has known for awhile that my grandma (though I love her dearly) has no filter (she was the "I was afraid..." comment) and that many of my extended relatives are just, well, rude and self-centered. Grandma has since adopted a more positive attitude (I wouldn't call it excited, but it's certainly not as harsh), and I've decided to otherwise focus on the people who are excited for us. I am blessed. My best friend is due a week after me. I have an aunt battling cancer who asks every single day how I'm doing and who considers this child to be another reason for her to fight for her own life. (Toby, my son, was born on her late husband's birthday, so she has fostered a very close bond with him. It looks like she's planning to do the same with this one.) This child has four grandparents, an aunt, and two uncles who are excited beyond description. And my husband is relishing this pregnancy as he missed out on the first half of the last one due to a deployment. So, the kill-joys can just shut up as far as I'm concerned.




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