Just a bit of a vent... Grrr...
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| Mon, 09-10-2012 - 11:40am |
I don't know if it's my hormones or what, but I'm really struggling with opinionated people right now. It's getting to the point in my pregnancy where I've decided not to discuss my decisions as a parent with other people. I realize that everyone has their own opinions and has the right to be passionate about them, but I feel like I'm constantly getting battered by wave after wave of people spewing their "passion" on me.. haha.
I brought up the issue of circumcision with a friend of mine (bad decision) because we were talking about how difficult it is to make decisions about parenting in this day and age with so much information being thrown at you. She asked about circumcision and I said that I've discussed it at length with DH and he's pretty adamant about having it done if we have a boy. I've played devils advocate quite a bit and have been challenging him to really look into it before we have the procedure done, and he is. When I mentioned that to her she flipped out on me. Told me that it was no different than female mutilation that happens in some countries and proceeded to say some pretty offensive things about my DH. Now she's starting to send me links to different websites regarding her opinions on the matter and it's really starting to get to me.
We're not taking this decision lightly... I've discussed it with people on both sides of the fence and have been trying to educate myself. My cousin is a doctor and has seen some horrendous infections and problems from uncircumcised men. He said that he had to perform a late circumcision on a 13 year old who kept getting horrible infections and it was tramatic for the boy and for my cousin. All of the men in my family have been circumcised, where as none of the men in her family are, so I understand that she wouldn't understand it.. I just don't understand why people get so CRAZY. Vaccinations, co-sleeping, breastfeeding.. Y.I.K.E.S. I've just had enough of being made to feel like I'm going to be the worst sort of mother if I make make my own decisions. From now on, I'm going to put my foot down and not continue having conversations with people about it unless they act polite and respectful.
Ok, rant over 
... Defintely must be the hormones.
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Sorry you had to deal with that. I don't even bring up those issues anymore with anyone. They are too controversial!
Abbie
Due march 6
I've come to the same conclusion about it.. Since I don't have a penis I'm probably going to agree with what my husband thinks is best, but I'll probably question whatever decision we reach for a long time. I've discovered that men are really sensitive about this issue. Obviously my friend is too ;p.. haha
When I had my first DS, I asked our pediatrician her opinion on vaccines because I read so many different debates about it. And her response was, "my opinion is my opinion and I choose not to share that because I want you to make the decision you feel is best and I will fully support whatever decision you make." So, I chose to vaccinate my kids. Almost 6 years later, and I STILL don't know her opinion on vaccines because she's not biased either way.
So anyway, my advice would be to talk it over with your DH and make a decision. Once you make the decision, dont look back on it or beat yourself up over it because you can honestly say you did your research and made an informed decision.
And by the way, all three of my boys have been circumsized. I can definitely see the concerns on both sides of the issue and respect what others want to do. I just barely saw a report on the news, about a study on men in Africa and how those who were circumsized were less likely to have HIV. This has changed the academy of pediatrics stance on circumcision...so they now think the benefits to circumcision outweigh the risks. So you could tell your friend that to help get off your back! LOL.
Also, I have watched all three of my boys' circumcisions. I wanted to be there for them...and I had read so many horror stories on message boards. But the procedure was not horrific at all....they gave them a shot to numb the area first. In fact, Jackson didn't even cry!!! The other two did, but they were very easy to console afterwards..they'd give them a binky dipped in sugar water and they loved that.
Phew, glad to see this is still a civil conversation! Ha ha - our board name should be the no drama mamas. Nothing can stir up a raging, pissy debate than circumcision, I think even more so than breastfeeding, staying at home, etc. I think circumcision is on the decline and I wouldn't be surprised if it went away a century from now but it is still a personal choice and I don't think it should be linked to femal genital mutilation. I saw the other day that the American Associate of Pediatricians put out a recommendation the circumcision be done whereas they were silent on the subject before. My DS is circumcised, and because he is and DH is, if this one is a boy, he will be too but honestly, if this were my first boy, I might go the uncircumcised route, I don't know. I haven't done any real research on it lately. But again, glad to see this is a civilized conversation.
I have a friend who is a major breastfeeding nut. I am all for breastfeeding if you choose to. I choose to pump and bottle feed breast milk. No I don't think it is more work and I don't mind the time spent on the pump. I am not pumping your boobs so why do you care? UGH!
I'm glad this is a civilized conversation too
.. If this had been any other board, I probably wouldn't have posted it, but this one is small and all the ladies on here are fantastic, so I felt safe in speaking up. I would never, ever be cruel to someone because they had a different opinion on parenting than I did. I guess I just feel in general that our society has made it ok to belittle and go on the attack when we don't agree with something, but this doesn't need to be the case. I'm waaayyy more apt to listen to someone who disagrees with me if they're polite about it and I think that goes for the majority of people. This pregnancy HAS made me much more sensitive than usual though. I can't handle the political commercials and commentary on TV right now, or on Facebook for that matter. I just want to spend the rest of my pregnancy free of angst and bickering while I dance in a field of wildflowers and sing to the woodland animals.. HA!
Thanks for listening, ladies! And for being pretty much awesome
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