Just a bit of a vent... Grrr...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2007
Just a bit of a vent... Grrr...
13
Mon, 09-10-2012 - 11:40am

I don't know if it's my hormones or what, but I'm really struggling with opinionated people right now.  It's getting to the point in my pregnancy where I've decided not to discuss my decisions as a parent with other people.  I realize that everyone has their own opinions and has the right to be passionate about them, but I feel like I'm constantly getting battered by wave after wave of people spewing their "passion" on me.. haha.  

I brought up the issue of circumcision with a friend of mine (bad decision) because we were talking about how difficult it is to make decisions about parenting in this day and age with so much information being thrown at you.  She asked about circumcision and I said that I've discussed it at length with DH and he's pretty adamant about having it done if we have a boy. I've played devils advocate quite a bit and have been challenging him to really look into it before we have the procedure done, and he is. When I mentioned that to her she flipped out on me.  Told me that it was no different than female mutilation that happens in some countries and proceeded to say some pretty offensive things about my DH.  Now she's starting to send me links to different websites regarding her opinions on the matter and it's really starting to get to me. 

We're not taking this decision lightly... I've discussed it with people on both sides of the fence and have been trying to educate myself. My cousin is a doctor and has seen some horrendous infections and problems from uncircumcised men. He said that he had to perform a late circumcision on a 13 year old who kept getting horrible infections and it was tramatic for the boy and for my cousin.  All of the men in my family have been circumcised, where as none of the men in her family are, so I understand that she wouldn't understand it.. I just don't understand why people get so CRAZY.  Vaccinations, co-sleeping, breastfeeding..  Y.I.K.E.S.   I've just had enough of being made to feel like I'm going to be the worst sort of mother if I make make my own decisions.  From now on, I'm going to put my foot down and not continue having conversations with people about it unless they act polite and respectful.  

Ok, rant over :smileywink:... Defintely must be the hormones.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2010
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 4:19pm

I have no clue why some people get so irate at other people's decisions like circumcision!  It's not like you were taking HER son in to be clipped or anything! 

When we found out that we were having a boy the last time I told my s.o. that it was his call ... I don't have a penis, don't know what it's like to have one whether it's circumcised or not, and therefore I felt that my opinion really didn't count for much.  I just encouraged him to do the research & he did.  He's not circumcised so initially that was his decision, until he talked to his older brother & dad about it.  They both had to be circumcised as adults due to problems with nasty recurring infections & they told him that they wished it had been done for them as babies when it was less painful & traumatic.  That did it, my son was circumcised. 

The one thing we did a little differently from most people is that we declined to have it done at the hospital when he was born.  Instead we got a referral from our pediatrician and took him to a pediatric urologist.  We found out that there are a TON of babies that get circumcised by the pediatrician on call or even the OB at the hospital and then end up having problems and have to get the surgery all over again once they are older babies or children.  We opted to do it right and do it once and I'm so glad we did as we've had NO problem with our little guy & his "junk".  :smileyhappy:

Lilypie Maternity tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2005
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 6:01pm
I have a friend got her son's circumcision done my a pediatric urologist because her doctor refused to do them. She said it wasn't much different because he was still only a couple days old. I'm sure the urologists have a lot more experience with it though and problems are probably less likely to occur. I didnt even know it was an option until she mentioned it!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 7:28pm

OMG I am so over opinionated people. I totally got into just the other day with another mom on my son's board over car seats. She had the nerve to insinuate that I don't keep my son safe. I freaking lost it. I really hate people right now. lol 

As far as circumcision is concerned my DS isn't. We decided against it after talking about it. I've seen a circumcision on my bff's DS and I had another friend who's DS got MRSA after having it done. My DS's pedi supported me and has watched it these past 3 years. Everything has gone smooth so far. In my opinion circumcision is such a private decision there is no reason to lecture, torment, or criticize anyone's decision regarding it. My friends have never criticized me for not circumsizing my DS and I've never lectured them when they've had it done for their DS's. 

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