I just wanted to thank everyone

Avatar for allysonz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
I just wanted to thank everyone
3
Sun, 04-27-2003 - 3:47pm
For your kind thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. My DH and I are back home from the funeral and now it is time to heal. It was overwhelming seeing all the support from everyone on this board, but it really DID help.

It had been a perfectly healthy pregnancy and my OB says I have what is called Incompetent Cervix. My cervix painlessly dialated and my body realized this was happening and started contracting my uterus which sent me into pre-term labor. I had been noticing pain all morning but it wasn't too bad until I got into the shower, and then I knew they were contractions because I couldn't move or talk during them, and they were lasting almost a minute. I sat on the toilet because I felt like I needed to go, and all I saw was bright red blood. Thank God my DH was home for lunch at the time, he rushed me to the hospital, and by the time I got there, I was already 10 cm and my membranes were on the verge of bursting.

It was such a horrific experience for me, because when you go into labor with a full term baby, you're in pain, but you're so excited to see your baby. With me, I was in pain and I was terrified about what would happen. I am so terrified to get pregnant again, I never want to experience this again.

My OB says next time I get pregnant, I will have a cerclage (stitch in my cervix) and I will always have c-sections. I am thankful to at least have been given the chance to have more, but I'm so terrified that I will always lose them. I don't know how I will be able to go 9 months worrying every single day if this is the day I go into labor.

I miss him so much. I miss him in my belly, I miss feeling him kick, seeing DH talk to him, buying him baby stuff. I miss the beautiful pregnant feeling I had. That probably has been the hardest part. I don't have my baby in my belly anymore.

I really appreciated all of the support from this board and it is so sad to leave, but I wish you all the happiness in the world and if you want to keep in touch you can email me at coryally@nqks.com

Hugs,

Allyson EDD 8/5 - Anthony Joseph born April 15, passed away April 16

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 1:59pm
I'm so sorry for your loss, and know that it could happen to any of us, and we need to be grateful for every day we have.

We will see you again soon and at least now you and your Dr will be well prepared to handle the situation.


Best of Luck to you

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2003
Mon, 05-12-2003 - 2:54pm
Allyson- I also hope that you never have to go through this again- i can't even imagine. But atleast this can be a preventable thing for when the time comes when you are ready to try again. Your in my prayers-ANN
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Avatar for cl_kmcoch
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 04-28-2003 - 10:38pm
More prayers coming your way Allyson. We hope you will be joining us again soon. Kristie