Is it me or is it actually him

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2007
Is it me or is it actually him
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 1:01pm
Just lately I've been feeling like i've been to hell and back. I just feel unappreciated like the whole world is against and most in particular my fiance. I feel like he completely doesn't understand whats going on. It sounds crazy but is it the hormones cuz of baby. okay I'm 29 wks with my first baby and it's a girl. i it the pregnancy or is it actually him. cuz he doesn't even wanna try to understand how I'm feeling.Please help!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 10:59am
I wouldn't worry about it. I went through phases of this sort of feeling with my fiance. In reality, he is actually very excited and happy about the baby. Everyone just shows it very differently. Sometimes I felt very alone in the whole excitement aspect of it but it could be because we're the ones carrying the baby. The fathers don't have a physical grasp of it yet. The next time you feel the baby moving around, put his hand on your belly and just smile at him. I'm sure he's just as excited as you are, but he can't possibly fully understand how youre feeling and what youre going through because it's not him with a baby in his uterus. Just be optimistic about everything and as the due date approaches, I'm sure you'll see him start to change. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2007
Fri, 07-13-2007 - 12:58pm
Thanx tararenee6684 I talked to my sister and i kinda realize that he going through his pregnancy thing for me. for instance Kaley was tightening up last night and he said his stomach was hurting, and I been having H/B and his been going through cramping not me. Ladies I'm happy as hell that I know he is experiencing my pregnancy pains and mood swings. Thanx for the advice. and keep in touch plz.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2007
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 9:24pm
I 110% hear ya on this one! im 22 wks and its gettin harder everyday to deal with the world! and when the person you want the most to understand what your going through -doesnt... it makes it 10 times harder! guys will be guys..they dont go through 1/2 the things women deal with in life and so they will never understand totally changes our lives..they just see our belly getting bigger and think were whining- they have no idea the pain and changes our body goes through and they also have no idea what lies ahead of them in months to come. Unfortantly theres nothing we can do to get them to change-we can say it until we are blue in the face but they will probly jus think were complaining again... so your best bet is to just stick to women! we all understand what your going through and thats what you need! hope this helped -Amanda
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2007
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 11:42am
I've been feeling the same about my fiance. Sometimes I feel like he's insensitive to what I'm going through, and doesn't want to better understand. So the other day, I bought the Discovery channel's "In the Womb" series and told him I bought a great movie for us to watch. I made some popcorn and put in the dvd... I've never seen his jaw drop so fast. At first he protested, but i made him watch the whole thing. It really gave him a very visual representation of what exactly is going on inside our bodies. Every now and then he'd reach over and rub my belly sympathetically. I think it helped him realize how severe the changes we endure are and now he better understands the pain and discomfort that comes along with those changes. I highly recomend this series to show your hubbys... plus, if you haven't seen it, it's fascinating!


Mommy to Sofia Grace born 4/9/08

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2007
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 12:45am

My boyfriend thinks he knows it all.

When he was 20, and that was 25 years ago, he and his first wife had a son that lived for 18 hours. He is convinced that he knows everything that is going on. I say give me a break a lot more is know about pregnancy and the body that was not known 25 years ago. If his son was born today he would still be alive. That right there should tell you something. Hei son died from a stupid medical mistake from a procedure that they never mess up these days.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2006
Wed, 10-17-2007 - 11:43pm

Oh, I so remember how insensitive my husband was when I was pregnant. I thought I was going to shoot him when he complained about carrying up the groceries to our third floor apartment. And he was completely unsupportive when I was nesting like crazy and needed to repaint the entire apartment--I swear he complained the entire time!
My friends tell me this is normal, however, this for me does not excuse the behavior. It is a good thing you have found out how to "help" him to understand--even if it is a little and short-lived.
The good news is that my husband is a wonderful father and this "syndrome" seems to be healed after the baby's birth. As soon as Aurora was born, he was a pile of mush. Good luck and let me know if you find a way to get through to your man.

Aurora- almost one! (10/29/06)