Not sure who to bring when baby is born?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2007
Not sure who to bring when baby is born?
5
Wed, 09-12-2012 - 12:18am

So I have recently been thinking about who I could have with me, aside from the bf of course, when we have the baby around March 13/13. 95% chance I am having a c-section, therefore it will be planned in advance. We have lived out west now for a year and 3 months. I don't have any close friends here, nor do I intend to make any since we plan to move back to Ontario in a few years anyway. My bf's mom is coming out over March Break, whenever that is in Ontario to help out and just sort of be there for me, since my own mother passed away 9 years ago. My dad also plans to fly out as well. But I read somewhere you should try and have a girlfriend with you as well. My bf's mom (practically my in-law, since weve lived together since 2010) and I aren't too close. We get along just fine, really well in fact, but she isn't someone Iam all "buddy buddy" with, if that makes sense. Plus she isn't near my age. Any thoughts? is it wise to have a female friend, who has had a baby be there for support, or is an in-law and my dad enough? I wish I had someone my age out here I was close to, to share this with but I don't. Even back in Ontario none of my closer friends have had babies, and my family and I just aren't close anymore, we've drifted apart.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2012
Fri, 09-21-2012 - 9:16am
It'll just be DH besides the mid-wife. We both know seeing blood has caused him to faint in the past, so I'm open to him stepping out here and there for breaks if he "medically" needs them. Lol. Imho, you just need someone there who has the ability to keep you sane. I've met all the nurses during my first tri hospital stay, and they could put one's own mother to shame in the comforting department. My midwife is more of the coach type, so I have my own little sanity team in case DH's knees buckle. ;-)

I live overseas from my family, and MIL has taken four years of marriage to truly accept me as family, so I can somewhat relate to your situation. As far as after labor goes, DH's brother has volunteered to come to town and be our go-fer for the first few weeks. My parents will fly over here two weeks later, and MIL will return from her trip to India 3 weeks after my due date. I think spreading out the visits is more our thing than a big party. :-P We've always been pretty independent personality-wise, so we're looking forward to it being just the three of us at home for the first couple weeks.

- JM

Avatar for duchessdina
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
Fri, 09-14-2012 - 8:03pm
That's probably up to you and what you feel comfortable with. I agree that if you're having a c/s they will only allow one person to be in the room with you. I also think you will be really tired from the medications they will give you and I don't know if it will even bother you when you get to that point. If you think you want one of your female friends though, then that's what you should do. Everyone is different and if you really want someone there, try to get it planned out ahead of time. Hopefully you'll know the c/s date way ahead of time since you are pretty sure that you will need one. I would work with a friend to try to get time off work and hopefully you'll feel better with her there.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2010
Fri, 09-14-2012 - 2:42pm
I think a party afterwards is a great idea! I was so tired after giving birth and I was trying to breastfeed so having a lot of visitors was a pain. When lactation consultants tell you to limit visitors in the beginning when you are trying to get used to breastfeeding they are so right! It is hard enough getting the hang of without having to constantly kick people out of the room or worrying about someone walking in on you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2005
Wed, 09-12-2012 - 6:16pm

I am having a c-section in November and honestly the only people I want visiting me while I am actually in the hospital are my DH, mom, and MIL (although I know she won't be there because she will be in Texas). I don't think that you will want that many visitors in the hospital because you will just want to recover and bond with your BF and new baby, but that is just my opinion. For me after I am feeling better from the c-section we are having a meet the baby party, probably around 2 weeks, where everyone can come visit and fawn over the baby.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2010
Wed, 09-12-2012 - 1:54pm
Do you mean just to have there afterwards? Because most hospitals will only allow one person in the room with you during the actual birth if you are having a c-section.

We had our family come up and visit a few hours after our son was born a couple months ago, but we did not want anyone up there all day with us through labor, delivery and everything. The nurses are so helpful that if you have any questions or need help with something they are there for you. My husband and I were able to manage just fine by ourselves with the occasional help from the nurses when we were having some issues breastfeeding. It is such an emotional time, not to mention you will be exhausted and in pain, even if you don't have to go through a long drawn out labor, so you might not want a bunch of people around. I did not feel the need for a female friend or family member that had a baby before be there with me. My husband and I wanted it to be a special experience just between the two of us, and then once our son was here the three of us. :smileywink: