People are driving me crazy!! Venting!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2007
People are driving me crazy!! Venting!
4
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 11:54pm

So 15 weeks yesterday and I am starting to think I have received a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones because I am more emotional as the weeks go on and now cry at just about everything. And people are really starting to get on my nerves. Even strangers.

For some reason I find women who already have children giving me advice incredibly insulting, like they think I am stupid or really naive. The advice they give me is obvious s***. Like decaf is better, support your boobs, eat healthy....well duh!! I am not stupid and can't fathom why they feel the need to tell me this obvious crap, like I am some uneducated 16 year old that got themselves knocked up. I am 24 and probably know more about being pregnant than they probably knew when they were pregnant. My mother who passed away in 2003 was an RN and prenatal nurse. She would be perfect to have around at this point in my life, but sadly that isn't the case, which is exactly why I have made it my mission to learn as much as I possibly can and more, about my changing body, and my developing baby!!

I know advice givers are simply trying to help and be nice but when a co-worker overhears me talking about maybe grabbing some poutine for lunch and makes the snarky/sarcastic comment "o thats healthy" (I knew she meant it in a "you shouldn't eat that" sort of way), who is she to talk? I eat a tub of yogurt every day. Spinach salad twice a week and take iron pills along with prenatals.I have a tuna sandwich twice a week, I drink water throughout the day, I have completely cut out caffine aside from the very occassional iced tea....so I have the odd unleathy meal, big f'ing deal. I'll eat what I want, within reason. My bf is a chef and makes sure I eat well since he knows all about food nutrition. Then I had someone tell me that decaf coffee is better for the baby all because I said I wanted a pumpkin latte from starbucks, really?? "Thanks tips" I had no idea.....I simply said,  "Iam aware, which is why so far I have completely cut out caffine."

The other thing that is bugging me is just the random mushy comments people are making, some strange guy was talking away to me while I was on the phone calling someone for him, so I was only half listening to what he was saying. I only realised he was talking about me being pregnant (which I guess he could clearly notice now) when he said  something about a gumball??....and then "your going to have a mini me, how cuuuuuuute" I just smiled and nodded since I was still on the phone. I personally found it pretty creepy!

Then there are those strangers who feel the need to tell me how massive my boobs are, especially for my size.I bought some new track pants from lululemon since I can't wear jeans anymore and I am too small for maternity pants and the girl asked what size I was usually, I said normally a 2 but now a 4 since I am pregnant. She then proceeded to ask how far along  Iam, which is fine, but then randomly said very loud "your boobs are huge, have they grown??" Of course they've grown idiot!

The final thing that bugs me and creeps me out is one co-worker in particular, who I know desperately wants children but has chosen to live in a different country than her bf, so I really have no sympathy for her, it's her choice, she keeps rubbing/touching my stomach everytime she sees me and makes squealing noises,especially now that I am noticably pregnant....its annoying and makes me uncomfortable because I know she is partially living vicariously through me since shes 36 and knows kids probably won't happen for her because of her life choices. Thats all she says, is "I want a baby, I want a baby" Like shut up about it, stop touching me and if you want  a baby so bad go back home and be with your bf instead of living thousands of miles away from him. She doesnt have to live/work here, she just visited here a few years ago, fell in love with the place and never moved back home. So I have no sympathy for her.

Sorry this ended up being a huge b***h fest, turned into quite the rant, which I didn't inted for, but really felt good to let my annoyances out lol. Anyone else being pestered by just about everyone??

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2010
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 12:10pm
Ahh yes, I went through a lot of this as well when I was pregnant. Although in my case some family members thought I was being overly cautious about stuff and were always telling me, "Well I did this or I did that while pregnant and everything was fine". Yeah, I really didn't care what they did or did not do while pregnant, I was following what my doctor told me and what I knew was right. As far as the belly touching I REALLY hated this, but have a SIL that always wanted to touch my stomach, if she asked first I always said no, that the baby was sleeping. Another thing you could do is cross your arms in front of the your stomach when the "toucher" is around, or if she puts her hand on your belly simply grab it and remove it from your stomach, she should get the hint. If not or if she asks what is wrong just tell her you are not comfortable with people touching you.,

It only get worse when you actually have the baby as I have found out. My husband and I are kind of ticked right now. My father called this morning and was asking if we had our furnace on (it's getting down in the 30s and 40s at night now), because my mom was worried last night that we wouldn't have it on and the baby would be cold. Like we don't know how to keep our baby warm? Ugh...I assured him that we keep the house at a consistent 70 degrees whether it means running the air conditioning or the furnace, but it's hard to be nice about it when she is constantly questioning how we do things. :smileysurprised:/ I get annoyed like you do though, I am not some young teen that has no clue how to take care of babies, I am 25 and have been taking care of babies since I was 12 seeing how I have 12 nieces and nephews, so I have plenty of experience.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 2:21pm

hello!! i just wandered over to this board cuz i wanted to write the post about "smaller" ladies and i came across this post. yes its the hormones but yes it gets annoying too...i understand completely. i have 1 lady at work who isnt always the friendliest to me-last sunday at work, she saw me drinking a coke and told me that its not healthy for the baby, that caffiene is bad for the baby...i told her that the doctor told me i could have a lil bit per day and she said "uh-huh" like i dont believe you but im not going to say anymore...but shes had 2 kids so that makes her an expert(mind you-i have 2 kids too-this is pregnancy/baby #3 for me)...you just gotta let stuff roll off your back. you'll get all sorts of unwanted advice after you have the baby too. like if you bottle feed or breast feed-you'll get advice on both and whats better...if you bundle up the baby, youre making him/her too hot, if you dont bundle them up-youre making them too cold, etc, etc, etc. wait until you get your ultrasound and people ask you what youre naming the baby-thats what im coming up against REPEATEDLY now. my dh must be the only man in the world that doesnt want a junior...so when i tell people im naming my son gabriel robert...they ask what my dhs middle name is...when i tell them joseph-they look at me like i lost my mind!! seriously he DOESNT want a junior people!! its not that weird!! people are opinionated and they want to give you that opinion whether you want it or not...my best advice (lol) is to listen to what people say and weed out what isnt going to work for you, what doesnt pertain to you and let it go...but to listen-cuz there are those jewels in what people say and you think "wow-yeah that does make sense"...now the comments about your boobs-you can roll your eyes, give people a dirty look and/or just let it go. people say dumb things all the time too...and yes the hormones will make all this worse...i understand trust me i do...lol
joanne 

Avatar for duchessdina
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 11:09am
I think you really do have to let it all roll off your back. You get so much advice from so many people that it's crazy. I get really annoyed by people telling me I don't eat enough since I'm eating for 2! I keep saying that I'm eating plenty and that you really don't need much more than normal. I haven't had any really obnoxious people yet... I'm waiting for that to happen. I can't believe how people just blurt things out sometimes!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2012
Fri, 09-21-2012 - 8:07am
I live in Germany, so people in public are a bit more reserved but relatives and close friends are just that much more frank! Anyhow, as a sensitive person, I've found that the only way to ignore the superfluous advice and commentary is to have confidence that you know what's best, because this is your baby. Every person is different, so you're the best expert on your body and your LO. When that sinks in, what other people say doesn't seem to carry as much weight.

- JM