Pregnant Step-mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2011
Pregnant Step-mom
Sun, 03-20-2011 - 4:24pm

I'm a stepmom and pregnant for the first time. I'm struggling with resentment towards my step-daughter and that my child will not be my husband's first child. Also, my step-daughter has been supportive, but the last couple of days, I think she is starting to get jealous about this new baby. She also questions my decisions, like breast-feeding. She thinks it is nasty and unnatural.

Avatar for cmkristy
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
Mon, 03-21-2011 - 10:37am


First off, congratulations on your pregnancy and welcome to the First-Time Pregnancy Club!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2007
Mon, 03-21-2011 - 9:55pm

Hello I was lurking from another board and I just wanted to say congrats on having a baby.

Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2008
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 12:17pm

I saw your post and wanted to reply.

Ugh......being a step mom is the toughest job in the world. It is so confusing, frustrating, heart-breaking, and yet wonderful rolled into one.

I am the step mom to 2 kids. SD is

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2011
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 1:09pm

Thanks for the support, and yes I agree. You can't let your SD control your life. This is your life too and I think it is too much of a sacrifice to not have your own children, because she is not comfortable with it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2008
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 8:15pm

I'm lurking from the Oct 2011 EC...

Your post caught my eye and I had to reply. I have a 14 year old SD as well. My SO and I have been together for

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Registered: 03-20-2011
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 9:29pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2011
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 9:36pm


(I had to change my username, but it's still me from the original post). Some days are better than others, but I do feel resentment from her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2011
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 1:37pm
I have a 7 yo SD and she seems pretty happy about our new arrival. However, she lives 7 hours away and we only get her for the summers and alternating Christmas/Thanksgiving holidays, so I think that has something to do with it. I guess we'll see how she acts ones the LO arrives!

She and I definitely bump heads--she's the complete opposite of me--so I'm hoping I bond with MY baby better. I'm just not getting the whole stepmom thing. I guess it woulda been better had I been in her life more when she was younger (she was 3 when we met and I wasn't in her life a whole lot 'til she turned 5). She calls me "Mom" and everything. It's just weird for me. :-/ When she was here last summer (her FIRST summer here) it was seriously so hard .. Almost made me not want to have my own child! Thankfully, things have changed. I just hope I can show her love like I will with our new LO. I think she'll be a good big sister when she is around though. *crosses fingers* I wish just as much luck with all of you having struggles! It really is hard to be a stepmom!

 BabyFetus Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Thu, 04-07-2011 - 10:00pm
Lurking from another board. I'm not a stepmom but o amd. Step-daughter. My dad and SM got married when I was about 11. I never treated my SM with any disrespect and loved other when she was pregnant with both of my younger brothers. But my mother did raise us to be respectful. Plus my SM essence always real kind. I'm sure you treat your SD well. But you have to remember she is a young child with not only a lot of emotions going on but this is going to be a big change for her as well.

Just remember this is your baby and you know what is best for them. Don't let her discourage you from what you know is the right thing.